Mrs. Rogers' Neighborhood

Life is a roller coaster

2012-01-20T12:41:00.001-07:00

I was just reading a friend's blog and she just did a short post about how life is really great for her right now. She is happy, plain and simple.

Now, just so you understand, this friend and I go way back. Like....WAY back. We've known each other since we were about 11 years old. We were BEST FRIENDS for a long time. Something happened toward the end of high school. We both changed, and it didn't seem to suit our friendship. We had a bit of a falling-out. Part of me was sad about it and part of me kind of just blew it off. Sounds heartless to blow of a friendship like that, I know, but that's just part of my personality. I don't put a lot of stock into whether people like me or not. Anyway, life moved on for both of us. We were part of the same group of friends growing up and "the group" gets together when possible once a year or so. We are all civil with each other, though I am absolutely certain that there are several people who dislike 'him' or 'her' these days.

Anyway, former bestie and I have both reached several (different) milestones in our lives since high school. We're both married. She has a degree and is an officer in the United States Air Force. I have a two year old son. We have both done our share of traveling. I can honestly say, all past grievances aside, I am (and have been) very happy for her. I'm over whatever caused the rending of our friendship asunder and really don't care about that immature crap anymore. So yes, K, if you are reading this I hope you know that I am truly happy for you and T! I hope life continues on in your favor and I wish you all the best. :-)

. . .

Until earlier this week, I was feeling similarly about life. Things have been great! I have an awesome, smart, funny, adorable kiddo. My husband is the best man a person could be blessed with. I live in a great house, situated in a quiet and safe neighborhood. We have plenty of food to eat, clean water to drink, comfortable beds to sleep in, and the list goes on. We have been happy and lucky.

Let's go to Tuesday earlier this week. I get off work at 2pm (yeah--I work the early shift, which is bitter-sweet) and receive a phone call a few hours later. That was to be my last day working for that company.

*LIFE COMES TO A SCREECHING HALT*

Wait. What?

Yeah--they're "making changes". Well isn't that just great? My full-time job was bringin' home the bacon for the family for the time being. Hubby is a full time communications major (20 credits this semester--oi) and ROTC cadet and Army Reservist. He commissions this spring and we were headed to Texas, y'all!!

Maybe not. Moving to Texas would be expensive and the Army won't pay for the move since hubby isn't active duty (we have TCU to thank for that--we all really appreciate you guys taking twice as many contracts as you were supposed to!! Don't worry, it's only OTHER PEOPLES' ENTIRE LIVES YOU'RE SCREWING UP.), so this move would be coming out of our pockets. With my pay, though, we could more than handle it. No biggie. But I guess I would need to actually still be employed in order to get the paycheck, huh?

So yeah. There's that. We're working on finding out if we can *gulp* stay in....*sigh* Utah....for another year or so. There may be some open slots up in or near Salt Lake City that hubby could fill, and there are a handful of civilian jobs he can put in his resume for if there aren't any open AGR spots. We would only have to stay here for another year or two...but I was SO counting on getting out of here. Utah is great, but I'm sick of it and I don't want to raise my kids in "the bubble".

So that's a huge part of the reason why I didn't get the "Ask a..." posted yet. It's postponed for the time being, but I'll see about getting it published ASAP.

P.S. My cat may or may not have run away last night...

Blackout

2012-01-18T14:07:00.001-07:00

I've been following the SOPA and PIPA news for a couple of months now and today is a great day to take a stand. I'm joining the protest and participating in Blackout Day. (Yes, that means the "Ask a..." feature is going to be postponed...until tomorrow)

A lot of people may be reading this and thinking "What is SOPA? What is PIPA?" Please educate yourselves and join the rest of us in protesting!

What Are SOPA and PIPA And Why All The Fuss?

Would you like to preserve the internet? Would you like to keep it innovative? Do you enjoy your freedom to browse and share?

Then join me, along with countless other leading public interest organizations and technology companies like Wikipedia, Reddit, and Google in protesting the PROTECT IP ACT (PIPA) and its companion legislation in the US House, the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA). Their names make them sound just dandy, but they threaten to take away our freedom on the internet.

There is a week left until Senators return to Washington from their districts, when their vote is scheduled on the PROTECT IP ACT, and you can make a difference! Let your voice be heard!!

Click here to Stop The Wall.

Click here to Help Mozilla Protect the Internet and Take Action Now!

We need to take a stand and tell our government that they have no right to revoke our freedoms!

Click here to join the protest via your twitter and/or facebook accounts!

About a bot

2012-01-11T06:18:00.001-07:00

I don't really use MSN messenger anymore...or windows messenger, or whatever it's called nowadays. I keep in contact with various people using different means, and I didn't want to cut off any old friends or family members, so I use a chat client that pulls all of my messenger accounts (MSN, yahoo, google talk, IRC, etc.) into one chat console. It's convenient. I like it. So when I sign in to the one chat client, it signs me in to all of my accounts.

I signed in this morning and immediately got a message from a Jennifer something-or-other. I refuse to repeat exactly what "she" said because it was disgusting. Suffice it to say that it was sexual in nature and I was totally grossed out. This was obviously a chat spammer sex bot. I replied, saying something to the effect of "That's gross. Leave me alone." while I searched for that contact so I could remove her. (I don't remember adding her in the first place.) Then Jennifer replied saying "I know. It's totally random. It's just that my ***** exboyfriend cheated on me and I'm really horny.....[etc. etc.]" Double ew. I replied again saying something like "I'm not a man. I'm not interested. Don't talk to me. You're disgusting. Leave me alone." blah blah. And then I deleted Jennifer from my contacts. Jennifer started replying before I could get "her" deleted, so the chat client allowed one last message through. This is what it said:

"Whatever...suit yourself....you're probably a virgin anyway....peace!"

Wow.

Now, let me first say that I am really disappointed in society these days. The fact that there is any such thing as (what I call) chat spammer sex bots really speaks volumes about the state of morality in our time. This generation is really on a downward spiral and I have know idea what kind of herculean effort it's going to take to save it, but I really hope things turn around fast.

When I come across people in my life who are rude or impolite or perverted (like Jennifer), I often exclaim, "Who raised you?!" And it hit me like a brick to the face this morning after my run-in with the bot: It's up to us to turn it around. That herculean effort? Yep - gonna have to be us. And by "us", I mean the people that are raising children now and those who will soon be raising children.

I never wanted my child to live in a world where "...you're probably a virgin anyway..." is meant as an insult or a dig. What on earth have we come to?? I'm supposed to be offended by that? No--I was supposed to get defensive because, apparently, being a virgin has become undesirable in our society. That is so disappointing. It makes me want to cry. And the sad part is that I was a little annoyed that I couldn't reply back saying "Actually, I'm happily married with a child, thank you very much."

WHAAAAT??

Yeah. I almost went there. I almost fed off of the stink of humanity.

Was I really being defensive about being called a virgin?? I was ashamed of myself for my reaction. Things cannot continue in this direction.

So it's up to us to turn things around. We need to educate our children and be honest with them. We need to be "uncool" and teach them that it's okay to be a virgin. We need to be an active part of their lives. We need to be intrusive. We need to know who they're hanging out with and where they are and what they're doing. I'm not saying we should put our children on lock down - give them their freedom and your trust, if they've earned it. But don't allow yourself to be that parent who ends up bawling on the Maury Povich show saying, "I don't know what happened! She used to be my little angel and now she's doing drugs and she's pregnant and she's only 15! What did I do wrong??" You tried to be the cool mom. You tried to be a friend instead of a parent. You gave her condoms instead of teaching her the importance of chastity and self-respect. You ran with the thought, "Oh well--you only live once!" THAT'S what you did wrong.

It lies on our shoulders to raise a generation who knows better. It's our job to make them responsible and respectful. I believe it is everyone's right to grow up in a world where they don't have to feel bad about being a virgin. I hope no one ever has to disdainfully ask my children "Who raised you?!", but if the question is ever raised, I hope they answer proudly.

I solemnly swear to do everything in my power to ensure that my children never become sex bots.

That's a promise you can count on.

Let's focus

2012-01-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

It is a pet peeve of mine for people to focus on things that don't REALLY matter as far as electing a governing official is concerned. It's a nasty tactic that candidates use against their opponents to distract from the real issues and it really really really bothers me. People need to focus on the things that ACTUALLY matter. What is this person's experience/background? What has their voting record looked like? What is this person's stance on the issues that matter to me? Call me crazy, but THOSE are the things that should determine whether you want to vote for someone or not.

It's no secret - I'm not a fan of our current president. At all. But that is because I disagree with his policies. I don't think he had enough experience before being elected President. I think he's dishonest. I REALLY didn't like his voting record before he was elected. All that being said, it still really annoyed me when people focused on his religion when he was running for president. So he may or may not be or have been Muslim. So what?? I don't care who he prays to - I want to know what he plans to do about healthcare, the economy, education, illegal immigration, and other important issues.

Now, I am not trying to start an Obama debate. I really don't care to argue about why he is or is not a good president. We all have our opinions. Numbers and facts don't lie, but everyone can twist the data to suit their view, so I really REALLY don't want to get into it with Obama fans. Let's just agree to disagree, yes?

The point of this ramble is this: Does a candidate's religion really matter when it comes to deciding whether or not to cast a vote? Yes and No. Mostly NO, but I can see where some people may be concerned. Your religion, if you are devout, can dictate a lot of your decision-making. It is the foundation of your beliefs and often plays a huge role in your character. What kind of person are you?

SO. Seems to me that a lot of people have some concerns surrounding a few of the Republican candidates' religion. They are "Mormons", or, to use the correct name, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. But what does that mean?

The "Ask a..." feature next week is going to be "Ask a Mormon"

*Dun dun duuunnnn!!!*

Now is your chance, people! You'll get to hear from a real, live Mormon. I've got a list of questions, but I think it's important to open this up to readers. For those of you who have questions or have always wondered about x,y&z - send me your questions! What do you want to know? Now is your chance to scratch that itch.

It is my hope that I can help educate people about this subject and, hopefully, lay this matter to rest. Maybe it will put peoples' minds at ease so they can focus on real issues and important factors so we can elect a President that can change the status quo for the better. Don't allow yourself to get tangled up in the games candidates play to distract you. It worked last time and now we're all paying for it.

You can ask questions in the comments on this blog post, or feel free to email me

Need a new camera?

2012-01-03T17:28:00.005-07:00

Hello all! I just wanted to post a short blurb about Pure Photoshop Action's Giveaway that they are doing!! If you want to enter, hurry and do it quick! The giveaway ends January 8, 2012!!

Here's to you, 2011 clink

2011-12-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

Christmas is over for the year. All the toys have been assembled and boxes and wrapping paper have been disposed of. Christmas dinner dishes have been cleaned and put away and the leftovers are nearly consumed. Visitors have gone home and it's time to sit back and relax. Time to digest the year's events and take on the weight of our accomplishments and, dare I say?, failures.

This year has been a crazy one. It was only about a year ago that we moved back to Utah. McKay and I got remarried and he jumped right into being a dad. He and Gabe have bonded in a way and speed I never thought possible. It has been a tough journey in some ways. A lot of adjustments have been made and relationships forged. Time to reflect:

I started the year working full time for Apple iOS Support. In March, I took a new full-time position at Mozy. I've made some great friends here and have learned a lot. The job can be challenging and I love that. I have a new found love for crafting/DIYing (thanks to Pinterest, I believe) and I got a fitness center membership. For reals, yo. The blog evolved a bit and I got a custom domain! I also did my very first giveaway!

McKay started the year with a 17-credit semester at UVU, including ROTC/Military classes and after-school labs. He took a couple of summer classes and then went straight from those to a month and a half of LDAC (Leader Development and Assessment Course--the Army's way of thoroughly testing you to make sure you're ready to commission (become an officer) in the coming year). After that, he jumped into another full-time semester at UVU as the unit's S1 and right-hand man to the Cadet Commander (who happens to be his brother). He spear-headed several big projects that turned out very successfully. All of this on top of drilling every month with the 786 Quartermaster Company (Army Reserve unit). He is also a full-time, devoted father and husband. Ladies and gentlemen, I totally scored. My husband is amazing.

Gabriel has grown leaps and bounds in the past year--both physically and cognitively. 2011 meant Gabe's first taste of truly cold weather. And snow. Yikes! He learned and mastered over 50 signs (thank you Baby Signing Time!!) and has even started to read/recognize letters, small words, colors, and shapes. (You may not realize how awesome my kid is yet...wait for it.....he JUST turned two. He is amazing.) He is already in size 7 shoes. Do you hear me? S.E.V.E.N. And do I have to remind you that HE JUST TURNED TWO?? He found a love for coloring, Elmo, and hopscotch and developed an adorable, cheesy, crooked smile. Gabe has also grown to love swimming and kicking and throwing balls of all shapes and sizes. His second birthday was an Elmo-themed party at Kangaroo zoo, which he hated (he was absolutely terrified of the bouncy houses and playgrounds). He constantly surprises us with his capacity to understand and continually learn more about the world around him. I have the cutest, smartest, most awesomest baby that ever lived and I smother him with kisses constantly.

We went on a few fun vacations this year as a family. In the spring, we went up to Yellowstone with some friends of ours for a few days. We had a blast tromping around in the "pre-season" snow (feet and feet and FEET of snow, y'all) and tracking down various wildlife. Gabe and I took another vacation during the summer while McKay was at LDAC. We went down to Arizona to visit Gabriel's grandparents. We did a lot of shopping as well as some boating and swimming. Gabe's Ti-ti had her baby shower while we were there, so we got to celebrate the imminent birth of her sweet baby girl - and they did it in style, too! (Seriously--it was the biggest baby shower I've ever been to.) Then in November, McKay and I took a weekend getaway sans-baby to Midway and stayed at a Swedish-inspired resort in the snow! It was a much needed, relaxing few days.

In conclusion, 2011 brought with it a lot of adventures, lessons, stress, new friends, fun new hobbies and interests, a new car (along with the "death" of an old one), a new job, lots of homework, new computers and operating systems, and lots of laughs. I took about a million pictures of it all and thanked my lucky stars that modern technology has brought us digital photography and external hard drives.

2012 is going to be another big year for us. We've got a vacation to Hawaii planned for the spring and then McKay will graduate (finally!) and commission. We'll be moving to Texas (oh, how I've missed it!) and getting new neighbors, friends, and jobs. We may be expanding our brood (we'll have to wait and see about that) and I'm going to see if I can convince my hubby to let me get a puppy. We've got some big plans and high hopes for 2012 and I can't wait to dive in!

I hope all of you had as great a year, filled with as many lessons and good times, as I did!

Here's to hoping we can top it in 2012!!

Postponed

2011-12-21T18:24:00.001-07:00

I know, I know--I was supposed to publish an "Ask A..." today. Well guess what? I have so much on my plate that I totally spaced it. I may or may not get it posted sometime this week. We'll see. We've got family in town--more than we thought we would....there was an unexpected death in the family. So, on top of visitors and regular holiday craziness, we've had that to deal with as well.

So yeah.

Forgive me?

More Than Figurines

2011-12-12T08:50:00.002-07:00

One of my favorite family traditions growing up was helping my grandmother set up the nativity scene. I loved it. I thought it was absolutely beautiful. I remember that baby Jesus was almost never in his manger--we were always sneaking him away to play with him. Grandma was always after us to get baby Jesus back where he belonged in his manger, and we were always going behind her back to take him out. It was a tireless struggle between us, but it was almost part of the tradition.

I loved that nativity set. LOVED. It.

As I grew older and moved away from home, I found myself looking for a nativity scene like the one my grandmother had. She must have gotten it a long time ago, because I never found one like it. And every other set I found just didn't feel very special. They were all so....mass-produced and impersonal. Grandma's was special. They were more than just some store-bought figurines that depicted the meaning of and reason for Christmas--they represented family and traditions and they had history.

Well, in 2006 my grandma was diagnosed with Cancer. It didn't look good and she wasn't going to last very long. A lot of "who gets what" talk was going around, and I hated that. I didn't want to think about her dying. We were very close to my mother's parents and losing her would feel like losing a Mother. Which is pretty much the case, I guess. So I really felt like it was pretty disrespectful to start claiming china and jewelry.

She passed away August of '07. I was devastated.

Since my sister and brother and I were closest to her (of all the grandchildren, at least), they let us make requests first. There was a necklace and a ring and a few things from the curio cabinet that my sister wanted. I honestly couldn't tell you want my brother asked for... And I didn't make a request. I made a demand. I told them I wanted nothing but the nativity set.

"That's it??"

"That's it. It's the only thing I want. I've wanted it for years and I may cry if someone else gets it."

So guess what I got? You betcha--I got that nativity set and I was ecstatic. I was also given some jewelry that my mom couldn't see going to anyone else and I got a china tea cup and saucer, which also had quite a bit of sentimental value. (My grandma used to spend a great deal of time setting up special little tea parties for my sister and I. She always used one of her super nice china tea sets. We LOVED those tea parties.)

But that nativity set. My goodness, I just love it. I love seeing it in my house. I love knowing that my children will grow up with the same nativity set that I did. Hopefully my kids will love it the way I did and then take care of it and pass it on after I'm gone.

Derailed

2011-11-30T11:11:00.001-07:00

*Sigh*

Life has caught hold of me and I'm having a hard time tearing away to blog. November is a near impossibility for me. Just too much going on, so I'm lucky if I have enough time to eat and bathe outside of all the other stuff I have going on.

I keep thinking "December will be better. I only have Christmas to worry about." But that's not true either. I also have the bajillion Christmas parties. And relatives visiting. (My sister and niece are coming to our house for Christmas this year!! I'm so excited! She was deployed last Christmas and will be deployed next Christmas, so I claimed them this year!) There are also gifts to be purchase, wrapped, and delivered. And cookies to be made. And about a million other things. I'm really trying to prioritize.

Hubby and I have set some family goals and I am really excited to see them met. It will mean a more efficient daily/weekly/monthly routine for each of us and better health. It will also make for more free time and less stress. I could really do with all of those.

So rest assured, people, I'll get back on track. It will just take a bit more time, so bear with me!

Thanks for sticking around!

P.S. I am currently dealing with a horrible case of the Terrible Twos that cropped up out of NOWHERE. What happened to my sweet, happy little toddler?? His new favorite word: "Nnno!" *grumble*

Ask A Deployed Soldier

2011-11-16T05:20:00.000-07:00

Briefly tell us a little about yourself. What branch of the military are you in? What is your MOS?

Ah well, Im SRA (Senior Airman) Mitch Carter. Part of the United States Airforce. At home station I'm part of the 90th Missile Security Forces Squadron and Overseas Im currently a part of the 838th Security Forces Squadron. Basically, I'm MP(Military Police).

So the feature this month is "Ask a Deployed Soldier" - where are you deployed?

Shindand Air Base, Afghanhastan. Its on the Western side of Afghanhastan, near a city called Hurat.

Did you volunteer for deployment, or was it just "your turn"?

Absolutely volunteered. And I haven't regretted it since. I feel like Im doing something important. We were the first Securtiy Forces team to touch ground here, so it's cool being a part of something kinda monumental. Ive missed out on some important things back home from being here, but that just part of the job. The "sacrifice" people talk about.

How much notice did you get before having to ship out?

3 days. It was kind of out of no where. And there is alot of paper work involved. So my team got about 8 hours of sleep total that 3 days, THAT'S how much gets put just into the process of sending you on a deployment.

What crossed your mind when you first found out that you would be deployed?

At first, I was excited. Then I realized all the people I was going to have to tell, and to make it worse, it was Friday evening, and I was leaving the following Monday. Try explaing to your next weekends date that you can't make it due to a deployment.

How did your friends and family react when they found out you were going to be deployed?

Overall, very supportive. Naturally there were a few who were upset. Didn't want me to leave, and were concerned I would get hurt, or killed. It was stressful to tell everyone, but its very helpful to have the amount of support I have.

What sort of training did you do prior to deployment? Do you feel like you were adequately prepared?

You can always use more training. That never stops. There's always something else to learn. New, better ways to do something. A lot of what I learned, I had learned in my tech school, prior to to getting to my first duty station. Building clearing, firing techniques, alot of classrooms on how to detect an IED (Improvised Exploding Device) and the procedures, should I find one, over-all security procedure for various incidents, even a class on Cultural Awareness for the Afghani culture so not to offend the locals. We're here to win the hearts and minds, let the citizens of this country know we are here to help them, not hurt them or in any way do any harm. So that was an important part of the deployment training. Also, got to throw grenades. That was alot of fun.

What are the main ups and downs of being deployed?

Well naturally, being away from home. Friends and family, the ones who care about you is the biggest down. Also, unfortunately, many of the locals we try to help don't like us, so its always a shame when they spit in your face. But its just their way, can't hold it against them. The food is not exactly 5-star. and the living conditions are cramped. I dont complain though, warm meals and somewhere warm to sleep. The ups? Well the money is okay. A little better then if I was state-side. Also, it's a wonderful expeirence to see a different country, and a culture completely different from the one I grew up with. You meet all kinds of people, some bad, some good. But it's all memorable.

What are your living conditions like?

Like I said, a little cramped. But not terrible. I live in a tent with twelve other guys. Luckily we all get along fine. But it can smell pretty rank from time to time on a hot day. Whoever designed our gear didnt design it for sweaty, desert conditions.

What things do you and your fellow troops do to keep morale up?

You'd be suprised the kinds of games you can come up with when you're on duty for 10 to 13 hours a day. So that helps. My squad has come up with too many to count since I've been here. Games we've called, Schwack, the name game, water wars, ninja hesco, just to name a few.

Do you feel like you've served your country more now that you're deployed than you did being stationed stateside? Why/why not?

I felt like I was serving my country fine before I got to Afganhastan. You don't have to go to a combat zone in order to serve your country. True, I wanted to do more, but I consider anyone in a uniform to be serving their country.

What sort of psychological changes have you noticed in yourself and/or your fellow soldiers (if any)? Have you changed spiritually? Has your personality changed?

I've definetly seen the world in a different light. I've noticed several of my fellow co workers have become more spiritual, open-minded, and aware of the world in a different way. However, there are a few who have become hateful, resentful, and down-right predjudice towards the local nationals. It's unfortunete, but Im afraid it's the nature of the beast in some cases. Me personally? Ive never been a spiritual person, and Ive always tried my best to be as open-minded as I can be. So I'd say the only real change is I've become more grateful for what I have at home after seeing a country where the usual, and most basic comforts of America are not only unavailable, but completely inaccessible to those native to it.

How are soldiers received and perceived by the locals where you are?

Well, there is a large number of Local Nationals who like us. Like us here. And apreciate what we are doing and trying to do. But on the other side, there are a number of people, even the ones who work for us, who simply hate us. We are not of their way, therefore, we are shunned, disrespected, and unapreciated. But any self-respecting soldier would think to understand this, because, as I stated before, this is simply their way. They were born and raised into this. It's just what it is in their world. and I accept and respect it.

What terms or phrases should we avoid when speaking or referring to soldiers who are or have been deployed? Are there things that people say or do that you find offensive or insensitive?

Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I very much despise the word "Hodge." [ha-jee] It's a derogatory term used to describe a middle-eastern citizen. To me, it's racist, and wrong. Unfortunetly, many people do not share my beleif, and feel that there is nothing wrong with being racist towards someone from the middle-east. It's appalling and needs to change. Also, something else that really irritates me, is someone (most of the time is a retired-military, or a member whos been in for quite some time) talking down on your deployment. Claiming how easy you have it compared to "how it used to be." Here's the deal, I'm still in a foreign country where large groups of people want me dead, I'm also still away from all my friends and family who worry about me, I also, like everyone else I'm with here, work my pink-irish a** off everyday. Just becuase the Pony Express was replaced by Internet and telephone, and communication between us and family at home is easier, doesnt mean "Your" war fighting efforts are better or of more worth then "mine." We all fight for the same thing, the same team, and for the same country. Get over yourself.

In what ways can we best help support the soldiers who are deployed right now?

Well, if you've got loved ones, support them eternally. No questions asked, just love them, and be there for them when they need you. The support of ones loved ones here can do amazing things for morale. If you want to chip in and help a soldier, there are plenty of charities who send packages to troops overseas (getting mail is like Christmas morning here.) Namely, the USO is a great way to get involved.

Are there specific items that you guys LOVE to get in care packages? What do you find most useful that you can't get where you are?

Junk food is always a plus. And of course, the usual items- razors, deodorant, toothpaste, etc. Mostly, just a taste of home. Pictures, homemade baked goods, that kind of thing to remind us what we're doing here.

Do you have any advice for people who have a friend or loved one who is (or is about to be) deployed?

Support, support, support. I can't stress it enough. Sure, you may be scared for them to go. And don't want them to leave, and it's causing some kind of breakdown for you, but keep in mind, THEY are the ones going somewhere foreign, and dangerous, and you're safe at home. They are scared as well, even just a little. Be there for them, and let your strength be theirs.

What advice can you offer for new recruits to the military, or people who are thinking about joining?

It's not for everyone. But it was the best decision I made for myself. Completely turned my life around, and gave me something, one thing, to be proud of. If you've got questions, you can ask any soldier. We are always willing to share our input on the career feild. And ofcourse, recruiters are a plethora of knowledge. Just dont let 'em trick ya into joining without knowing all the facts. They're wily like that.

I want to thank SRA Carter for taking the precious little free time he has to do this interview. Also, thank you for serving, Mitch. You're a great American and I'm proud to call you my friend!

If anyone has any follow-up questions for Mitch, please EMAIL ME and I will try to get your questions to him. He will be returning home to the United States before the end of the year.

The following are links to a couple of websites you can visit to help support our troops:

www.uso.org

www.operationgratitude.com

anysoldier.com

www.cellphonesforsoldiers.com

P.S. Ladies, he's single. (at least...he was last I knew....) ;-)

Crazy November

2011-11-15T06:43:00.001-07:00

I know, I know. I haven't posted much of anything lately. November is a crazy month for our family! Mine and McKay's anniversaries (yes, with an 'S'--this year we celebrated our 1st and 5th wedding anniversaries!) are at the beginning of the month. We also have my birthday (two days ago), G's birthday (tomorrow!) and my mom's birthday. The first weekend McKay had drill, this past weekend we had a mini vacation, tomorrow is my little monster's birthday party, this weekend McKay has an overnight FTX (field training exercises--land navigation, weapons training, survival, etc) with his ROTC unit--we also have family pictures this weekend (that should be interesting since they are supposed to happen right after he gets home....in 35 degree weather...yay!) and then next week is Thanksgiving and....ugh....black Friday.

Whatever. I can handle it. I just always have something going on or something coming up that I have to prepare for. On top of normal things like eating and showering and--oh yeah!--I work full time.

So the blog suffers. Boooo!! I don't want it to! But in November that can't really be helped. Good news! My second monthly "Ask A..." posts tomorrow! This month is "Ask A Deployed Soldier"!

Anyway, thanks for hangin in there with me! Apologies to all my blog-world friends. I haven't had time to read OR write, but I'll play catch-up ASAP.

P.S.--I plan on doing a follow-up post about my BFOP experience too! I had a blast, by the way!

Best Friend Of The Program

2011-11-02T04:47:00.000-06:00

Dude.

Duuuuuude.

I am going to be on the radio this morning! Maybe. Well yeah. I'll be in the studio, at least. My FAVORITE radio morning show, X96's Radio From Hell, has a weekly feature called BFOP (best friend of the program) where they bring a listener or two into the studio.

Needless to say, I'm stoked!!

I just have to say this: They really are the best morning show ever. I have lived in many places and have never found anyone that can come close. I've lived in St Louis (shout out to my Cards for winning the series, by the way!), Chicago, Pensacola, Houston, Honolulu....etc..... NO ONE does a better show. I always find my way back to Utah for whatever reason (my personal thoughts? Utah is a black hole that just keeps sucking you back in....BEWARE) and THANK. GOODNESS. FOR THAT. Well...as far as radio is concerned...

I swear there's some handbook that they pass out to morning show hosts with the same jokes and games and stupid gimmicks. They have all reached into the same goodie bag filled with the same crap, after being given the same promises of loyal listeners. And most of them probably do have "loyal listeners". My guess is that they have them by default because the poor saps have nothing better to listen to.

Well guess what? I do. Radio From Hell has turned around many a crappy morning, my friends. The mix of personalities is as close to perfect as I've heard and their features never fail to entertain. They are unique and honest and hilarious and such a breath of fresh air!

I know a lot of people who don't really listen to the radio like they used to anymore--they plug in their iPods instead. This is worth turning off the iPod for a few hours! Those of you in the area need to tune in to FM 96.3 in the mornings. For those who are...let's say....less fortunate....you can subscribe to their podcast (Radio From Hell by Simmons Media, LLC) for free and enjoy at your leisure.

Anyway--I have to leave! Headed to the studio...

I Like It Like That

2011-10-29T11:36:00.004-06:00

Y'all, it's Saturday and I'm feeling FANTASTIC. I've got a lot to do and the energy, ambition, and motivation to get it done!

Things are good.

I'm dancing to some awesome feel-good music in my living room with my adorable soon-to-be two-year-old son while planning a spring vacation to Oahu. Holla to my Poly peeps!!

Life is great.

And now, some feel good, get up and dance music brought to you by Hot Chelle Ray (and youtube, of course...)

Looking...looking...FOUND IT!

2011-10-27T05:00:00.000-06:00

I decided to join in on Mama Kat's writer's workshop. The prompt I chose was "Write about the last item you looked for. Why did you need it?"

This one hit me hard and I feel like I need to write about it....but it means writing about something I haven't mentioned on the blog for a while.

You-know-who.

The 'R' word.

My ex.

My son's biological father.

While visiting his family this past July, Daisy (his mother, Gabriel's grandmother) received a call informing her that Ray had been arrested. She called us (Jasmin, Rachel and I were out shopping) and asked us to come home - she just heard some bad news. I was already having a weird day, and everyone knew it. I was just...in a funk.

When I heard the news I was....uh....I don't really know how to describe it. I guess I was worried. You see, Ray had a run-in with some racist cops a few years ago and that led to a world of trouble for him. Falsified police reports and court trials and one beast of a state prosecutor scared him into taking a plea bargain. It was one year of probation, withholding adjudication. Long story short, he violated that probation after I left by not checking in and then leaving the state without informing anyone, which made in a fugitive. Ugh _*_ (<--that's me banging my head on the table) So he has been "hiding" for the past couple of years. He got pulled over in July for driving without a seatbelt, which led to his arrest.

I have felt a lot of things the last few years and had a lot that I would have liked to say to that man, but I kept to myself and moved on with my life. Yes--he may be a deadbeat dad. Yes--he may have been verbally/emotionally abusive. Yes--he may have been the most disrespectful man I have ever dated in my entire life. But he has a lot of great points and he doesn't deserve to be punished for something he didn't do. Especially not a felony charge. So yes--I was worried about him.

But a huge part of me thought "This is my chance."

You see, Ray has never told me his address or phone number or any sort of contact information since I left Texas. Why? I don't know. Whatever. He probably thought I would send someone after him. I honestly don't care enough to put any effort into something like that. I fully believe what goes around, comes around. It's not my job to judge or punish him, so I'll let the universe deal it back to him the same way he dished it out. Maybe he'll learn something.

I told Ray long ago that I wouldn't keep him from his son....but I would step in at any point I feel my son needs to be protected. I know what it feels like to think your dad doesn't care about you or love you and there is no way I will ever let anyone do that to my child.

Well I gave him plenty of time. G will be two next month. TWO YEARS and not a single penny. Not one visit. No effort whatsoever. He knows how to contact me. My email has been the same for years. And, of course, there's always facebook. He knows I stay in contact with his family too. Nothing. For TWO YEARS, people. I think that's more than enough time. My son deserves better.

M is the most amazing father to my sweet little boy. They love each other dearly, and G has never known any other dad. I asked him earlier today "G., where's your daddy?" And, of course, he immediately pointed to the only man who has ever been a father to him. They are best buddies. I am so incredibly happy that my son has the most amazing father the world could have produced. How did we get so lucky?

My sweet, amazing husband has asked to be allowed to adopt G from day one. That is where things get complicated. I would have to get Ray's permission....or I would have to get his rights terminated. To do that, I have to inform him with a letter of intent. I don't know where he lives. Grrreeeaaat.... His parents try not to get too involved in Ray's affairs and I don't blame them--I actually really appreciate it. But now--NOW--I can serve papers. I can have them delivered right to his cell. Easy as that!

I spoke with an attorney to get some instruction on how to proceed. He told me I first need to find out where Ray is and send him a letter so we can get a feel for the situation. (Will he be cooperative or resistant?) Duh. Easy, right? Just do a google search.

Uh--NO. NOT that easy. He has an incredibly common name for his culture. I had to narrow it down. I knew the state he was in and the general area, so I began doing inmate searches in all the county jails and the prisons. (Wait--is he in jail or prison? Is this on a state level? or is it federal?) No dice. So I started calling each of the correctional facilities. All dead ends. I was getting really frustrated and wanted to give up and cry. I started the search so hopeful! I thought it would be easy to find him! I was wrong. I had searched for a couple of hours and found nothing. I even tried calling and texting his parents and, of course, they didn't respond. Big surprise.

Then I remembered something his old probation officer told me. The probation office contacted me two years ago asking if I knew where Ray was. I had no clue at the time. I asked his P.O. "Just out of curiosity, what happens when you guys find him?" He told me Ray would be arrested and extradited to Florida, where the "offense" took place. He would sit in jail until he could get a court date that would sentence him to whatever. Ah-HA! I hadn't thought to check Florida correctional facilities!

One search in the correct county (the first one I went to) and there it was. BLAMMO! I wasn't expecting results after my hours of failure, but there he was. Picture and all. Holy crap. I FOUND HIM! I found him. Wow..... After years of knowing nothing, here it was. All of it. Even his last known address.

Status: In Jail

I was in a weird sort of shock for a bit. My heart was racing. I don't even know why. It was as though he showed up out of nowhere and was standing right in front of me. That was actually kind of true. I typed in a name and moments later, there was his face staring right at me. He was right there. In an orange jumpsuit and a beard (I know, right? ew....a beard....). I had seen that Marine Corps stare of his in several pictures of him from his combat tours in Iraq. It's a little unnerving.

Booking Date: 08/31/11

I finally got my head together and called the jail to get a mailing address for inmates. The man on the other end of the line gave me a PO box and some instructions.

Bond Amount: $0.00

I still couldn't shake the weird adrenaline rush it gave me to finally pinpoint him. I yelled out in triumph. I'm not even kidding you. I yelled. No one else was home, thank goodness, and I took advantage of it. I wanted to jump up and down.

Charge: PROB VIOLATION-FELONY

It has been hours and I haven't been able to make myself close the page. I keep navigating back to it every hour or so. That face. Staring back at me. It's an odd mix of emotions that wash over me. Sadness. Frustration. Regret. Compassion. Nostalgia. Anger.

I look from his inmate photo to my son and back again. Am I looking for similarities? I don't see them. G certainly looks like he's mixed with....something. He is clearly not all caucasian. The lips--they bear resemblance. The black-brown eyes too, I guess. The olive skin. But I glance back over at my son sitting next to his daddy--his REAL daddy. The man he mimics every day. The man who reads to him, plays with him, teaches him, provides love and care and stability and a good example of what a real man and father and husband is--and my resolve solidifies.

I'm doing this.

I have written Ray a letter. The gist of it is this: I harbor no ill will for you, and actually wish you the best. You haven't been around or ever tried to be. I know you love G in your own way and I'm asking you to love him enough to give him what we all know is best for him. Please let him go.

It is my hope against hope that he will see and agree that it is in G's best interest for him to sign over his parental rights to the man who has been Daddy while he hasn't. I am praying that he will be mature and unselfish and that he will cooperate with my efforts to create a more solid foundation for the son he never cared to meet or support.

So there it is. The last thing I looked for was the inmate correspondence address for my son's biological father. I need it so I can plead with him to let M give little G what Ray has never made any effort to provide. I found it. I am both relieved and....on pins and needles! Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Ask A [Two Time] Cancer Survivor

2011-10-19T10:36:00.000-06:00

There are people all around you that are doing, or have done extraordinary, interesting, amazing things. Some are dealing with unimaginable struggles. Others are accomplishing great feats. All of them have and are still overcoming great obstacles.

I want to tell their stories. I want to build awareness. I want to spread the word. I want people to be more tolerant, more informed, and more respectful.

Derin celebrating beating cancer (AGAIN) at her "Cancer Schmancer" party

Today, we are talking to the lovely Miss Derin. I met Derin in 2007 (I think. Give or take a year--time escapes me) when we worked together at Orange Soda. She is an amazing person and an excellent friend. I think we are all aware that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month--and, though Derin did not have breast cancer, I felt that this was a good month to feature her. I'm sure that everyone is seeing little pink ribbons (and, let's face it, pink EVERYTHING--I saw a pink swiffer mop at the store last night!) everywhere. It's so awesome that everyone is donating and spreading awareness, but did you know that there is also an Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month?? Yup. September. Too bad I didn't know that before! The color for Ovarian Cancer Awareness is teal. LOVE it! So that's why this post is going to be in PINK and TEAL!

Briefly tell us alittle about yourself.

I am officiallyin my 30th year in this wonderful world! Right now my life consists of Dr.visits, tests, scans, and WORK. I love what I do and I love life! I recentlyreceived test results from my Dr. that my current battle with cancer isremission cancer-0 Derin-2. I'm blessed with an amazing husband, family,and the BEST friends EVER!!!

Beautiful Derin on her wedding day

So the featurethis month is "Ask a Cancer Survivor" - what type(s) of cancerwas/were you diagnosed with?

In 2005 I wasdiagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. The cancer had progressed to stage four, that beingthe most severe stage for ovarian cancer. Having spread into my abdomen, thecancer had quickly invaded every space available; constricting the properfunction of organs, and wrapping itself around nerves and major arteries alike.The far reaching fingers of the disease had also found its way into my chestcavity, there attaching itself to my lungs. Even a small amount had depositeditself in my shoulder near my collar bone.

Then again inNovember 2009 it came back with vengeance. Again I was diagnosed with OvarianCancer. The cancer had progressed to stage three. It also spread into mypancreas.

Derin and me--BFF!

What crossed yourmind the first time you were told that you had cancer? and how were you told?

I knew it wasgonna be bad news since my doctor asked me to come into the office and to bringa family member or friend with me. I asked the first Doctor if he was high. TheI was filled with denial. I went through all 5 of the stages of grief:

1. Denial andIsolation

The firstreaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished loved one isto deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalizeoverwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediateshock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporaryresponse that carries us through the first wave of pain.

2. Anger

As the maskingeffects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge.We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core,redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimateobjects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at ourdying or deceased loved one. Rationally, we know the person is not to beblamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain orfor leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry.

The doctor whodiagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease might become aconvenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day.That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to thosewho grieve for them.

Do not hesitateto ask your doctor to give you extra time or to explain just once more thedetails of your loved one’s illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask thathe telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questionsregarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Understand the options available toyou. Take your time.

3. Bargaining

The normalreaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need toregain control–

Ifonly we had sought medical attention sooner…

Ifonly we got a second opinion from another doctor…

Ifonly we had tried to be a better person toward them…

Secretly, we maymake a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone theinevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painfulreality.

4. Depression

Two types ofdepression are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction topractical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominatethis type of depression. We worry about the costs and burial. We worry that, inour grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phasemay be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit ofhelpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is moresubtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation toseparate and to bid our loved one farewell. Sometimes all we really need is ahug.

5. Acceptance

Reaching thisstage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden andunexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is notnecessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselvesthe opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm.This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.

What treatmentshave you undergone in your fight against cancer?

In 2005 afterbeing diagnosed over the next 6-8 months I would spend close to two months inthe hospital, being operated on 5 times, and experience two grueling months ofChemotherapy. It is not an experience that I would ever want to relive.

In 2009 I did acourse of aggressive radiation, as well as a year of herbal treatments andholistic remedies. I did multiple drug trial as well as chemo booster shots. Iflat out refused to do full on chemo EVER AGAIN!! NO THANK YOU! All ofwhich I attribute my current remission to. AMEN!!!

Obviously, thereare negative side-effects to certain cancer treatments. What were yours?

With the Chemofrom having the toxic chemicals of chemotherapy run through my veins for overeight hours I had terrible pains, and sickness.. Needless to say, I wasexhausted and extremely tired as the poisons continued their destructive coursethrough my body; indiscriminately killing cancer cells and normal healthy bodycells alike. The radiation drains my energy, causes extreme bone pain and Ihave major memory loss, thank you chemo/radiation.

How did you copewith treatments and being ill?

Lots of meds!!!!!Hot baths, massage (you need to clear this with your Dr first it can bedangerous for cancer patients), I was blessed with an amazing support system.Having that can make or break your fight. If you are reading this and do nothave a support system, please contact me. This is not something anyone shoulddo alone. On that note you also have to LET people support you. This is so hardbut once you do you will feel so much better.

Derin and her wonderful husband, Phil

What things didyou do to keep your spirits up and hope alive?

Singing, I LOVEmusic and watching musicals they make me smile and take my mind off of theissues I am facing. Educating myself to know what alternative treatments areout there are great ways to stay positive. I know that it is so hard to bestrong and positive but when I was and am I feel like I can do anything. When Iam sad or depressed or self-pitying, my life was a lot harder to live through.There were times when all I thought about were ways to end my life. I wanted tokill myself before the cancer killed me. Those were my low points.

What kinds ofreactions did you get from other people when they found out that you hadcancer?

I think thebiggest was that people didn't know what to say. Some cried, or stared blankly.

Did people treatyou differently after they knew? If so, in what way?

Some peopledistanced themselves from me while other rose to be the amazing pillars ofsupport that I needed. I get upset when I hear people say things like, I can'tdeal with you being sick..... HELLO how do you think I feel?

Me and Derin at her 30th birthday outing

I can imagineyour body went through a lot of physical changes throughout the whole process -what were they and how did the changes affect your perception of yourself?

The chemo killedmy teeth, I have constant pain in my bones and joints. I lost my hair and mostof my taste sense. I still have digestive issues, developed a seizure disorderand am in CONSTANT discomfort.

Do you feel likeyou changed spiritually and/or mentally since the time you were firstdiagnosed?

In a huge way.Lying there in my own pain and sorrow, I gained some sense of the eternalvastness of Christ's agony and pain. And how small my suffering seemed to bewhen compared to that of the infinite and eternal! What gratitude filled myheart as I thought about how he loved me so much that he willingly took upon himselfmy suffering and more! Peace entered my soul as I felt his love comfort andsurround me. 

What sort ofsocial stigmas did you encounter, if any?

That I'm too sickto be capable of doing anything. I felt like people didn't want to invite me todo things because they thought I was maybe too sick. Just because someone hascancer doesn't mean they can't be productive in society.

Go get 'em!

Were there thingsthat people said or did that hurt your feelings?

People would saythat they didn't want to get close to me because they didn't want to "loseme". It was hard.

What terms orphrases should we avoid when speaking or referring to those who have beendiagnosed with cancer?

I hated whenpeople called me sick, or sick with cancer. I like to think of it as living withcancer or fighting cancer things like that. When you have cancer the last thingyou want to hear is someone tell you you're sick. Putting the positive spin onit will keep spirits high and stress low.

What programs, ifany, are out there to help people who are struggling with cancer - eitherfinancially or emotionally?

These groups can refer you to anyassistance that you need. As well as me. I am big into helping spread the wordand to teach through my experience.

thecancer.net

cancer.org

cancer.gov

What can we do tohelp build awareness or assist in any way? (time, money, etc.)

I am a bigsupporter of Relay for Life through the American Cancer Society. There are anumber of things to raise awareness.The MOST common type of cancer"awareness" is for breast cancer. It is frustrating to me that veryfew people think of the other types. Awareness is key to early detection andhigher survival rates. Look at me, I was terminal twice and I am here todayalive and breathing. Did you know that there are over 200 kinds of cancers?Well, now ya do!!

Derin in Utah County Relay For Life 2010

I want to thank Derin for being the guest of honor here at Mrs. Rogers' Neighborhood today and for being the star of my newest feature, "Ask A..."!! If you would like to visit Derin's blog, click here! Also, if anyone has any follow-up questions or wants to know more, feel free to email me and I'd be more than happy to relay any messages.

Next month's feature will be "Ask A Deployed Soldier". If you have any questions or requests, please email me ASAP so I have enough time to correspond with our soldier.

The day a box of stuff changed my attitude

2011-10-13T15:36:00.002-06:00

Y'all, I am SO excited. I GOT MY SWAPOWEEN PACKAGE!!

So I had a chiropractor appointment yesterday--a new Dr./new office. They have an in-house massage therapist, so I made an appointment for a massage before my adjustment and evaluation (my knees are seriously messed up, guys.) This cute little massage therapist comes into the room and gives the usual schpeel about telling her if you want her to go deeper or lighter--yeah yeah--I get it.

She started with my feet and I can usually take a pretty deep massage to the foot and this felt pretty light, so I told her she could go deeper. She did. And boy did I regret it! She got to my back and was doing that thing where they run their forearm/elbow up the middle, adjacent to your spine....Oh. My. Gosh. I was DYING!! That woman is deceptive! You don't think you're going to get a super deep massage like that from such a tiny little lady. I mean...wow. I was face down (of course) and thank goodness because I was mouthing every dirty curse word I had ever heard in my life. I really thought I was going to pass out at one point. I said "uhh...that kinda hurts..." and she goes "Oh, I bet! You're poor back! It's so tight!" and continues along....

Found out later she's a body builder. For reals, yo. Go figure.

So anyway, we're driving home from my appointment (I felt like someone beat the crap out of me, but I'm going to feel AWESOME in a day or so!!) and M. is talking about chores and projects that need to be worked on when we get home. I am dreading walking in my front door because all I want to do is take a nap! We get to the doorstep and what do I see?

My swap package!!

I wasn't expecting it quite yet! Everyone likes getting mail and packages even more so--I was PUMPED! Totally lifted my spirits. Sorry hubby--all that other crap is gonna have to wait!

Since I know you're dying to see what I got, here it is!!

BAHahahaha--you thought you were going to get to see everything in that picture, didn't you? Okay, here it is for reals now:

Okay, so those were just pictures of the card she included. Here's the stuff. For really reals this time:

[Don't mind the toddler mess in the background...]

1- Halloween picture frame - so cute! I'm going to put a picture of Gabe as a monkey from last year in it for now
2- TONS of chocolate candy eyeballs!
3- BH&G Halloween catalog!! She just met me and she already knows my newest weak spot--crafts!
4- Ring Pops! Strawberry for me and...something blue for the boys!

5- Black Halloween-y roses
6- Cute little pumpkin treat boxes--I love that she did the treats in threes so we could each have one...but who says I have to share??
7- Halloween socks

8- Super cute black witch boot decoration
9- Halloween kitchen towel, hot pad, and oven mitt
10- Really awesomely cute spider votive candle holders! I have to say--I was all kinds of excited when I saw these and then my heart sank. I don't like to have candles lit in my house with a toddler running around. Bummer! I started thinking of other things I could put in them until I saw--
11- Battery-powered LED tea lights. Oh hells yeah! She thought of everything! They even came WITH BATTERIES! I got all kinds of excited all over again!

So I was gathering everything up after taking pictures and noticed that those millions of chocolate eyeballs have FILLINGS. How long has this been going on?? When I was a kid, they were just chocolate. Bonus points if they weren't hollow.

Fancy-pants chocolate eyeballs.

And yes--that is glitter all over my hand. It's from the spiders--there is glitter everywhere now! It's glorious!! (Glitter is the herpes of the craft world)

This is how stinkin cute my new decorations are:

I used some extra eyeballs to fill up the boot and made it into a "vase".

And check out my cute new Halloween kitchen stuff!

I was EXHAUSTED after all that gift-receiving....chores and projects can wait....

Thanks for the great Swapoween package, Kristin! And thanks to Angie and Beth for hosting! I think my first swap was a great success--mostly due to awesome hosts and a fantastic partner!

P.S. Gabe loved the candy, Kristin! See for yourself!!

ASK A....

2011-10-11T00:10:00.003-06:00

I want to tell their stories. I want to build awareness. I want to spread the word. I want people to be more tolerant, more informed, and more respectful.

So...I decided to start a new monthly feature called "Ask a..." where I'll get into, through, and beyond real people, their lives, what they DO, and what they BELIEVE. I have a handful of people that I have already contacted that I will be featuring. I would LOVE it if you, the readers, have any suggestions. Who do you want to hear from? What do you want to know more about? I guarantee you know somebody extraordinary. You might not realize it, and they probably don't know it or claim to be so either. If you know somebody (maybe even yourself) that you would like to be featured, please email me with information to get in touch with them! (With their permission, of course.)

I am so excited to start this! It will run every month on the third Wednesday of the month, which means next week on the 19th is my first Ask A feature! I hope everyone is on board, because this is really going to be great. Like I said before, I already have a few people lined up and we're just going to dive right into it with my first guest. She is a very dear friend of mine that I feel absolutely honored and blessed to have met some years ago. Her guest spot will be:

Ask A [two-time!] Cancer Survivor

I have already asked her ~~too many~~ questions for her guest spot, but please PLEASE let me know if you have any last minute questions you would like for me to ask her. I am so grateful to her for agreeing to be a guest on Mrs. Rogers' Neighborhood for a day - she is truly an amazing woman.

*squee!!*

P.S. After some frustrating technical difficulties, I FINALLY completed the finishing touches for my Swapoween package!! Yaaayy!! I will be mailing it out tomorrow. I can't wait to see what my swap partner thinks of the goodies I'm sending! But I'm also kind of nervous--this is my first swap, and what if I totally borked it? I guess we'll see.... Kristin already mailed out her package to me LAST WEEK. What. A show-off. (HA! Just kidding K.K. - you're awesome!)

Giveaway Winner

2011-10-07T07:14:00.000-06:00

The giveaway is now closed! I'm so happy with how everything turned out--thank you to everyone who took the time to enter! I hope you'll all stick around for the good stuff to come, as well as future giveaways that I have lined up!

I used RANDOM.ORG to pick the winner and....

*drumroll please*

The 11th commenter, BETTYCD!!

Congrats, Betty! I will be emailing you shortly so we can sort out the details! :-)

Thanks again for participating, everyone! You've made my first giveaway a blast! If you still want to try Green Tea Daily, don't hesitate to stop by their site and buy a box!! You won't regret it!

Reach Out

2011-10-06T05:46:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! Don't forget! It's the last day to enter the giveaway! YOU could win a free whole month supply of Green Tea Daily!! This stuff is awesome, guys--it really is. I give GTD a good portion of the credit for keeping me going every day with this crazy schedule of mine and for helping me along with my health goals. It's so much easier to want to exercise when you feel great and have lots of energy.

I really hope you win it! Yes, YOU!!

There are a handful of entry opportunities, and it will take you less than three minutes, I bet. (Actually I know--I made it super easy for you to enter!) So don't wait--enter today before the giveaway closes (tonight at midnight....my time zone? some other random time zone? we'll see--it will be one of the U.S. time zones though)!!

And then after the giveaway closes, sit tight because I've got a few new monthly features starting! At least one of them will be a link up so you can participate in the fun too! I love link ups because they are great opportunities to meet other bloggers and make new friends - if we can become more united, build understanding, and increase our networking webs - all while having fun, I will have accomplished a big goal of mine! We're all here reaching out in some way or another, aren't we? Some bloggers want to share life events and stories, others want to share crafts and recipes, some wish to educate and others, entertain. (And some just want to read what all of these people have written, which I have no problem with!) It's more rewarding when you have more people to share with.

Don't be afraid to reach out! Participate! Link up! [Enter the giveaway!] Share with us!

I am the Kiss Monster

2011-10-05T10:16:00.001-06:00

{1} If you had an extra hour to do ANYTHING for yourself each day what would you do?
Work out. Hubby and I are in the process of revamping our schedules/routines, so hopefully this extra hour will be presenting itself shortly!

{2} Are you a morning person or a night owl?
NIGHT. OWL. For sure. No question about it. No "Hmmm...well let's see..." I HATE waking up. Hate it. Love what I wake up TO, but hate waking up....which sucks when you have a 5am shift - not only to I have to wake up early, I have to go to bed early as well.

{3} How much sleep do you get on an average night?
Oh man....remember how I just said I go to bed early? Well that was a lie. I SHOULD go to bed early, but I don't. I usually get to bed by around 10 or 11, which means I get around 5 hours of sleep every night. I really should go to bed earlier...

{4} When do you find the time to blog/surf the ol' interweb?
During breaks at work and after G. goes to bed. It's really hit and miss at home, so I really just depends on my schedule.

{5} What is the ONE thing you're never too busy for?
Lovin' on m'boys! Hubby and G. are the best best BEST and I love attacking them both with snuggles and kisses.

Sappy, I know--but it's true! I am the KISS MONSTER!!

Watch yourself.

Link up with Mamarazzi and Queso!!

For Good And For Awesome

2011-10-04T06:11:00.001-06:00

There have been a lot of changes around 'the neighborhood' (oh man, you better believe I'm going to milk that...) lately. I feel like, slowly but surely, I'm evolving as a blogger. It's almost embarrassing to admit that I've been doing this for over six years and I'm only just now getting around to a custom domain and swaps and so on. I guess when I first started, I didn't really know what I was doing. I was a teenager and a blog was an easier way to journal because I could type faster than I could write, which meant I could keep up with my thoughts more efficiently. Blogging has turned into SO much more since then though.

Our ability to share and connect with people has been enhanced in almost every way since the early 2000's, and blogging is no exception. In many ways, blogging and online social networking is acquiring a somewhat negative connotation nowadays. Many believe it has actually hindered our ability to truly connect and interact with one another. I respectfully disagree, but with an asterisk*

*Some people know where to draw a line.

I recently learned (during a google search of myself as a joke and an experiment) that MySpace started awarding badges...? I found that (though my account has been deleted for years) I had earned two in particular: "Old School" and "O.G." - one for being one of the "original myspacers" and one for being a member of MySpace before it was ever cool. HA! It really made me laugh. I think I joined MySpace in '03 or '04. But I joined facebook and Hi5 and Bebo and a handful of other social networking sites at that time as well. I didn't even know what they were. I added anyone to my friends list who requested to be there. I had like, thousands of friends, yo.

I learned quick, the hard way, that you can be a little too open on the 'net'.

One day, a guy I didn't even know showed up on my doorstep with a gaggle of idiots (I'm assuming they were friends of his) greeting me as if we were old pals, asking if I wanted to hang out. At first, I thought maybe they had the wrong house....and the wrong girl. Then "Nick" says "You don't recognize me, do you? It's Nick! From MySpace!" My protective pseudo mamma (I lived with my best friend's family my senior year - that's another story. Don't worry, my mom approved.) respectfully, but firmly asked the boys to leave (Thanks, Mamma C.!!) and they complied. You don't mess with that woman. She'll getcha! I don't know why she did that - maybe she saw the look on my face and knew that I was frightened.

Holy @#$%

It scared me. How did this guy find where I lived?! I may have been a little naive, but I never posted my address anywhere. I ran to the computer. I needed to find out how Nick found my house.

After some searching, I had it. My pictures. There were pictures of me in my old cheer uniform (yes, I was a cheerleader once upon a time--don't judge me too harshly - I only did one year of school cheer and the rest was city league and an All-Star competitive team--I did it for the sake of participating in the SPORT. Try arguing that one with me. Another time....) which told this guy where I went to school. There were also pictures of me around town with friends, so the city I lived in was easily discovered as well. Through comments and other status updates and random tidbits, one could easily gather that I lived on a street right next to our high school. And then--the dead giveaway: there was a picture of me standing in fresh snow in my yard. You could clearly see my neighborhood and a street sign that advertised obvious cross-streets in front of my house.

Bingo.

I figured I had a few choices. I could delete all my accounts....but I wasn't about to do that. I could remove any photos that gave away too much information....no WAY (anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a picture whore and my photos are sacred and cherished). OR....I could trim down my contacts. I immediately went through and deleted everyone from my friends list that I didn't actually know. This was a wake up call that I wasn't prepared for. The guys left and never came back, but what if they didn't? What if they had been dangerous? I felt sick for putting not only myself, but (more importantly) my best friend's entire family at risk. Papa J. would never have let anything happen to any of us, but it was still a risk I shouldn't have ever taken.

So what about now? Seven years later, I am on facebook and Google+. I write a few blogs (this one and a photo blog and FOUR--count them!--others, two of which are private). I'd say I'm out there. Obviously I don't have some huge following, but I'm not stopping anyone. My facebook is private and Google+ is...well...whatever it is right now. I am enjoying having so much power to share at my fingertips. Friends and family that time and distance would have otherwise thrown into a black hole can now, by these means, see and read about anything I want to share. I can post pictures of my family and old friends from St. Louis (holla!) can see what my son looks like and watch videos of him dancing like a maniac.

Some say that today's technology is distancing us from one another. They say that we are forgetting how to interact on a personal level. We are losing our social skills.

I disagree. There are those of us who use modern technology to connect to those we might have lost in our lives. I am meeting new people (Hi Karma Kristin!!) and sharing stories and pictures and videos with my family who, for each of their reasons, is spread across the globe. I can Skype with my sister and my son can jabber away with his cousin from thousands of miles away.

So I say this: Use the tools you have for good and for awesome. Connect with people, but don't forget your real-life obligations to your friends and family and others around you. Be smart about what you share and who you share it with. Be yourself. Spend your time wisely. Never forget that you can play that game, write that post, answer that text whenever YOU decide. Technology is here for your convenience--don't allow yourself to be controlled by it.

That is all.

P.S. Just kidding--that's not all! Click here to enter my giveaway--you have until the 6th! YOU could win a whole month supply of Green Tea Daily!

P.P.S. I have been having so. much. fun. shopping for my swap partner. Some of my ideas have had to be abandoned due to lack of availability of certain items, but I think it will be a fun Swapoween!!

My first swap {Swapoween} and the anticipation is killing me

2011-09-29T21:27:00.000-06:00

So I was talking to my lovely friend Angie (IRL, y'all!) from My So-Called Chaos the other day about how I feel like such a blogger NOOB....even though I've been blogging for over six years. She's a great friend, so of course the conversation was very encouraging and helpful. She really is super nice, y'all--if you're not reading her blog, you should be!

Anyway, she asked if I wanted to be a part of her swap. I was giddy. I have seen blog swaps and have always secretly wished to participate, but...I don't know...I guess I just didn't think I "belonged"...maybe. I don't really know how to explain it. I wasn't sure I was welcome - even though everyone is super nice. I still feel like a little bit of an outsider from the blogger "in" crowd.

But Angie encouraged me to sign up, so I did! I am so excited! We find out who our partners are this Saturday and then I have to get busy! I am so glad that Angie and Beth are hosting a Halloween swap (cleverly named "Swapoween") - I have always loved Halloween. It was a big deal at our house. We made our own costumes (more like, we "helped" my mom make them) every year and had a lot of holiday traditions that I still keep with my own little family now! So so so excited! (BTW, we finally decided on a family theme for Halloween this year. I'll post pictures next month!)

10 Things I Would Do If I Didn't Have To Work

2011-09-29T11:01:00.001-06:00

[In no particular order]

1. Play with my son more

Oh, how I would LOVE to have more time with my son. Right now I just feel like I work work work and then I come home and I've got a bajillion things to do (laundry, dinner, cleaning, laundry, blog, laundry) and I can never get enough time with G. I want to have more time to do all of the cute little activities that I pin up on Pinterest.

2. Read a LOT more books

I love books. I love reading. I have a "books to read" list as long as my Netflix queue (and I'm almost maxed out...whoops). IF I didn't have to work AND I was a good girl, I'd guilt my husband into getting me a Kindle and I would take it with me everywhere I went....go? No, went. Oh, I don't care.

3. Learn a couple of new languages

I took Spanish in high school, but Spanish in high school is like....Kindergarten. You learn the alphabet and numbers and colors and shapes and seasons and days of the week....but nothing REALLY useful. So I'd work on my Spanish, for sure. I would also dedicate a lot more time to learning American Sign Language (my vocab is pretty limited). Oh! OH!! I would also really really really love to learn Gaelic. How cool would that be??

4. Take a sculpting class (art - not aerobics)

I don't draw. I suck at painting. But I was always quite the sculptor with the play-doh and modeling clay. Even after high school I was always buying Model magic and creating little characters. My mom (who is an amazing artist--the woman can draw, paint, create like you wouldn't believe) begged me for a few of the characters I had made once and I took it as a huge compliment. She suggested I take up sculpting and I never took her seriously until recently. I think I would really love it and might possibly be pretty good at it!

5. Finish my degree

School. Schooooool. I miss it. Am I crazy? I would love to AT LEAST go back and finish my Graphic Design degree. Ideally, I would change my major to Economics and would actually possibly double major in Economics and Digital Media (or something in that area). Yeah. That sounds good.

6. Finish my book

Yes, finish. I started a book years ago and have never found the time to work on it. I would really love to finish it.

7. CRAFTS

Oh man - as most of you know by now, I've caught the bug. Everywhere I go, I see a potential craft to be made. And I'm always thinking "I be I could do/make that myself..."

8. Learn to cook new things

I have always enjoyed cooking and LOVE to learn new things in the kitchen. The Food Network is my favorite channel. By FAR. Plus, it's so incredibly rewarding to eat something you just made that tastes AMAZING.

9. Travel

Is there an explanation needed for this one? There are SO many places I would love to see and experience. I have a pin board for it. I will see the world someday.

10. Have more babies

Oh yes. If I didn't have to work full-time, I would most definitely have (or at least TRY to have) a couple more kids. I think that would be lovely....

What would YOU do if you didn't have to work?

P.S. If you haven't entered the giveaway yet, don't forget to do it before it's too late! You could win a one-month supply of Green Tea Daily!! Enter Here!

Violated

2011-09-28T10:21:00.001-06:00

The other day (and, really, when I say that....it could mean any time in the past month or so--but in this instance, it was really just a few days ago) I was out having a girls night with a friend of mine. Now this friend is that friend that you end up chatting with for hours, neglecting all other responsibilities. That friend that you go to say goodbye and you're still talking 45 minutes later. Yeah. That one. We chat it up like you wouldn't believe.

Anyway--we were having a GNO and she was taking me back to my house after dinner and we ended up talking in her car for like two hours, so it was close to midnight (on a WORK NIGHT) by the time I got inside my house to go to bed. (If she is reading this--don't feel bad. We have great talks and I always enjoy them. Plus, I've had a newborn, so I've lived off of less that two hours of sleep for over a month). While hubby and I (he waited up for me--sucker! lol Love you honey) were getting ready for bed, we heard a neighbor's car alarm go off - it was just the thing where the horn honks repeatedly. It turned off after a minute, so we didn't think anything of it.

I was getting into my car the next morning and there was some...stuff...on my seat. Stuff that is normally in the glove box. I asked McKay why he got this stuff out and didn't put it back. He said he didn't.

Wait--what?

We immediately realized that both of our doors were unlocked when we got to the car. (It has been parked in the driveway lately due to large projects being harbored in the garage, so we're not used to having to lock our doors when we get home). We panicked. We both opened all of the compartments and whatnots in the car to see if anything was missing. Nope. But we don't leave cash or other valuable item in our car. Except my purse. Nothing was missing. Wait, where's my purse? Ohmygosh I took it inside last night. Miracle. I NEVER take my purse inside.

Then we realized -the car alarm the night before- we must not have been the only ones.

We had a prowler in the neighborhood! D's car alarm probably scared the little hoodlum off. I'm assuming it was just some punk kid looking for quick cash because our car had been rummaged through but nothing was missing.

But still!

I felt violated.

Have you ever had someone break into your house or car or go through your things without your permission? Ugh!! Tell me about it!

P.S. Did you miss the giveaway post?? Don't forget to scurry on over and enter really quick! (Don't worry--I've made it easy peasy to enter - I want to give you stuff!!)

Get your clicking fingers ready--it's giveaway time!

2011-09-26T21:01:00.000-06:00

*GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED*

It's giveaway time! First, let me tell you a little about what I'm going to be giving one lucky reader!

I don't know if you saw this post or this post, but I'm a consumer of and believer in Green Tea Daily. This stuff is awesome, folks!

I (a night owl) have to be at work at 5am Monday through Friday. (Condolences accepted) For months, I was tired and cranky and always dragging myself through my mornings. It didn't matter how much I slept. I don't drink coffee, and even if I did, caffeine makes me tired. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I had to do something, though, because I can't be falling asleep at work! Green Tea Daily was the answer to my prayers. It gives me lots of natural energy - even after the most sleep-deprived nights. The best part is that I don't feel jittery like I would with a typical "energy drink". Green tea balances sugar levels, which helps stabilize energy. It improves insulin use in the body, preventing blood sugar spikes and crashes (which tend to make people tired, irritable, and crave unhealthy foods).

I have also recently set some health goals for myself. I was kind of stuck in a plateau and got a little discouraged. GTD saved me from my health standstill. The active ingredient in green tea, EGCG, increases the rate at which your body burns fat. Studies have shown that EGCG activates fat burning genes in the abdomen to speed up weight loss by 77%! Yeah...I lost ten pounds in two weeks.

Other awesome benefits? It can help fight several different types of cancer (green tea in general). EGCG has been shown to be 200 times more effective than Vitamin E in fighting free radicals (free radicals react with healthy cells in our bodies, causing damage like wrinkling and premature aging). This potent, free radical-fighting antioxidant can help fight arthritis and diabetes as well!

Lastly.... it tastes good! With an equivalent of 45 cups of green tea in every packet, how can you go wrong?! And don't be scared - since the tea isn't brewed, there's no tanic acid to worry about. I drink two packets per day mixed into a cold bottle of water, which means I'm drinking the equivalent of 90 cups--get that? NINETY CUPS--of green tea every day. I feel fantastic!!

So anyway, now that you're really excited about Green Tea Daily, let's get on to the giveaway!! One lucky winner will receive their very own box of Green Tea Daily! I've decided to make it really easy for you to enter!

You must "follow" this blog to be eligible for the giveaway. Leave a comment after you have become a "follower" of the blog (or if you already are one!).

For Extra Entries

Follow me on twitter (I made it easy for you--there's a follow button for my twitter account in my sidebar) and leave a comment letting me know.

Follow the Mrs. Rogers' Neighborhood facebook page (Again, I've made that easy for you as well--click "Like" in the facebook plugin in the sidebar) and leave a comment letting me know.

If you really want to go the extra mile and earn more entries, post about this giveaway (with a link to the blog [this post] in your shout out) on facebook and/or twitter! Because I love you so much, I've made it super easy to tweet this - see the "tweet" button in the sidebar. Again--leave a comment letting me know that you have done so.

LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY SO THEY CAN BE COUNTED INDIVIDUALLY!!

Entries will be accepted for the next ten days, so hurry and get yours in before it's too late! [Giveaway closes on October 6, 2011]

*GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED*

Entrepreneurial Endeavors....(I can use big words!)

2011-09-26T10:21:00.000-06:00

Things are just moving forward faster than I can keep up! So you, dear readers, need to know what's up.

It all started a few weeks (maybe months) ago. I finally caught the crafting bug (I blame Pinterest!) after almost 25 years of being genetically predisposed to wanting to craft (right? ... isn't that how it works? you just have to be born and be a girl and you're automatically crafts-y....right?). I went to a few craft stores near my house and just went crazy. Hubby put on a smile and pretended to be okay with it, but I'm sure that he had a mini heart attack when he saw everything I brought home....so many bags.....

I made some really super cute little crafts and then it dawned on me-- I should open an Etsy shop! I talked to McKay about it and he was totally supportive of the idea.

I got busy. I changed my Etsy account so I could sell things. I upgraded my PayPal account to Premier. I got started on a budget and pricing plans for my wares.

Somewhere in the midst of all this, I was contacted by Green Tea Daily. They mentioned "giveaway" and I basically started jumping up and down with my hand raised, yelling "Me! Me! ME! OH, PICK ME!!!" And they did!

It was at that point that I decided I needed to get down to business. I changed the name of the blog and purchased mrsrogersneighborhood.com. I created a Twitter account just for MRN and created a facebook "page" for it as well (check out the sidebar!). I'm totally doing this. I have been blogging for years, but I have officially decided to dive into the deep end and attempt to swim with the big kids.

I can do this.

I can so totally do this.

I mean, I can be interesting, right?

I can do this.

There are a few new features that I'll be adding to the blog - one of which is so close to being ready, I could pee my pants. I'm very excited.

The Etsy shop is almost ready to go live, y'all.

And....? I have a giveaway just WAITING to be launched. I think I'm ready to do this thang.

Yogi Tea wisdom of the day (yes, I drink tea....delicious, organic, herbal tea....yummmmm):

May you have faith in your worth and act with wisdom.

Someone over there at Yogi knows me. I needed that this morning.

Stay vigilant--giveaway coming soon. As in...next post. Tomorrow morning at the latest. ;-)

Changes

2011-09-21T10:17:00.004-06:00

Don't know if you noticed, but the blog name changed and I've move to a custom domain! This is now Mrs. Rogers' Neighborhood! The new blog url is:

www.mrsrogersneighborhood.com

*squeee!*

Okay, so maybe it's not as big a deal for y'all as it is for me. I'm pumped! Don't worry about any links or following and whatnot - everything linked up to the old url (simplyashleyrose.blogspot.com) will be automatically redirected to the new domain.

What does this mean for you? Probably nothing. Continue on as usual!

More changes to come

Blog facelift! [ETA - unknown]
New Etsy Shop! [More on that later]
My first giveaway! [Within the next few days]
New monthly Feature! [Keep an eye out!]

Lots of exciting stuff going on here. I'm really super stoked.

Thanks for reading! I'll keep you posted!

Road Block

2011-09-19T05:24:00.003-06:00

I have a few posts in the works, I promise. I've got some new plans and changes that will be rolled out shortly as well. I've hit a roadblock for the time being, though.

My MacBook (Pro--holla!) has the dreaded "black screen". I did some homework while I was troubleshooting at home and found that there's a known issue with the NVIDIA graphics processor in some builds. If that's the case with mine (and I'm hoping it is!), the repair(s) will be free of charge. Cross your fingers for me.

Until then, I only have our PC to work on and I hate it. I avoid PCs at all costs these days. Ours is pretty new - an HP Quad Core Desktop (6GB of RAM and a 1TB HD) running Windows 7 that we bought in February. We haven't had any problems with it so far, but....it's a Windows-based machine which, I guess, is a problem in and of itself.

*sigh*

I guess I'll just have to deal for now. The Simply Mac store by my house is really fast with repairs, so I shouldn't be laid-up for too long!

[If you follow my other blog, you're going to see this same message there....sorry for the redundancy...]

That Day...

2011-09-11T06:36:00.000-06:00

We all know what today is. It's that day. Nine-eleven. A day that will live in infamy for all Americans and many beyond our borders. Since 2001, I have felt weird about doing much of anything on this day. It is a somber day that I set aside for remembering. It is also a day of gratitude for me because I was not directly affected by the tragic events that made this day a famous one ten years ago. That's not entirely true though. As Americans and human beings, really, we were all affected by it. It was such an enormous loss of innocent lives....how could one not be affected by it?

source

I had a history teacher who once said "Each and every day, you are a part of history. You are living it, witnessing it, creating it. There will come a day when a child will ask you about some event that happened in your lifetime and they will be riveted by the story you tell. So pay attention and remember..."

source

This is my 9/11 story...

I was in ninth grade. I had gone to school early that day, for whatever reason. Our school had televisions posted every fifty or so feet on the walls in the hallways that played the morning news every day. I noticed groups of kids crowding around them, so I went to see what the fuss was about. An airplane had crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade center. We were so confused...what had happened? And how? And why?? We all watched as a second plane crashed into the South Tower. Live. Right before our eyes. My stomach sank as I realized these crashes were not accidents. They were not coincidences. I felt sick. And heavy. We were all horrified.

Everyone was glued to the televisions throughout the school. The morning bells rang and we hurried into our classrooms to find our teachers watching the news as well. The principal's voice broke over the intercom delivering the terrible, gut wrenching news. There was a long moment of silence and then our teachers were instructed to carry on as usual. That didn't happen. The school was especially quiet that day. Everyone hurried through the halls between classes so they could get to their next one and continue watching the news. More parents than usual came to personally pick up their children from school that day, and I imagine everyone rushed home to turn on the news. We were all praying and looking for the same things: Hope. Survivors. Suspects. Justice.

My mom didn't make us go to school the next day. We stayed home in our pajamas and watched brave men and women rescue survivors. We also saw the death toll steadily rise. We wept. We were angry. And then we cried some more.

source

I decided to dig up my old journal and find the entry from 9/11. So here, for accuracy's sake, are parts of that entry that describe my thoughts and feelings from that day [I've removed some redundant parts and you'll have to forgive some inevitable inaccuracies, naivety, and immaturity--I've copied the entry exactly as it was written]:

9/11/01 11:05pm

Dear Journal,

Newspaper headlines around the U.S. and possibly the world all read the same thing: "America Under Attack." Around 7:00 am Utah (Mountain) time, a commercial jet with 90 passengers was hijacked and crashed into the North tower of the World Trade Center. Twenty minutes later, another plane was hijacked that contained 65 passengers and was crashed into the South tower. Twenty minutes after that, yet another plane was hijacked and crashed into the Pentagon. That plane (I believe) had about 45 passengers. The same thing happened to another plane containing 55 passengers only it didn't crash into a building. School today was not a typical school day....we sat and watched these horrific events unfold one after another. In third period, we all sat glued to the t.v. and watched the Twin Towers (W.T.C.) collapse. .... We do not yet know who is responsible for these terrorist attacks, but President Bush claims that "...we will hunt them down..." and they will be sorry. .... How could something like this happen? .... I was watching the news and they showed footage of people in Palestine rejoicing and dancing in the streets. They're celebrating the loss of thousands of innocent American lives. They were saying things like "They deserve it!" and "I only wish it were more. I wish it were worse." It makes me sick. How could they do something like this? How could they say things like that? .... This is so devastating. Gordon B. Hinckley spoke about it today in the conference center and the tabernacle choir did a memorial program.... It makes me sad that people could be so evil and have so much hatred in their hearts. I'm angry that so many innocent people lost their lives. Think about it - husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, moms, dads, children, grandparents - were all lost today. Thousands of them. And Palestinians are celebrating in the streets about it. .... People are comparing this to the attack on Pearl Harbor - only this is much worse. I don't know what to think....

source

Here we are, ten years later. In some ways, it still seems so fresh. I still get choked-up at images of policemen, firefighters, military personnel, and every day citizens working through the rubble trying to find survivors. I get tears in my eyes when I see photos and clips of people in New York city covered in ash and debris looking toward the Twin Towers, crying. Who did they know? What must they be thinking right at that moment?

source

Visiting New York City is on my bucket list. And you can bet every penny you've got that I won't leave until I've visited Ground Zero...

source

What will you be doing today? I'll be watching this:

Fitocracy

2011-09-01T09:38:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I just had to write a quick little post about Fitocracy. Raise your hand if you are trying to lose weight, get healthy, or stay healthy! [Everyone should be raising their hands right now...] Fitocracy is an awesome social fitness site where you log your workouts or physical activities and earn "achievements" and points for them! You gain levels and complete quests (like running a mile in under so many minutes or doing so many reps of a certain exercise) and earn achievements - it's a lot of fun and it's great motivation!

I earned a ton of points and completed a quest for logging my swim time at the pool with my family on Monday!

You can create and join groups, get advice and motivation from others and even help motivate your friends! I've been a member for less than a day and I'm already loving it! The site is pretty new and it's still in beta, so you can join by invitation only for now. If anyone wants and invite, let me know!

Back on the WWTK wagon

2011-08-31T09:51:00.000-06:00

I've been out of my bloggity habits for a while. So here goes. WWTK!

1)Do you prefer to text or call?
Depends. I usually hate talking on the phone, so most of the time I'm a texter all the way. There are certain conversations that just need to be spoken, though, ya know? I can deal with that I guess...

2)What is the last text message in your phone and who is it from?
My mom: "Hey I've been talking to my old teacher Mary from high school, I wanted to share with you what she did to potty train her kids. They were potty trained before 1" --Potty training is a hot topic at my house right now...

3)What are your favorite phone apps?
Mozy, Gospel Library, TeleNav GPS Navigator, Visual Voicemail, Flashlight, Cozi, and MyDays (in no particular order...)

4)At what age do you think kids are ready for a cell phone?
I don't know. I only have one child so far and he's not quite 2 yet. My husband and I have talked about it, though, and we've decided that we're not going to give our kids cell phones--they are going to have to earn them. We have a whole system devised that would take too long to explain, but it's a good plan! I imagine they'll have cell phones around junior high or so...if they can keep up their grades, chores, and good behavior.

5) Share a current pic or video taken with your phone:

We went to "Free Family Swim Day" at the pool on Monday--Gabe had a blast!

Feel free to join in and link up!

Thanks to Mamarazzi and Queso for hosting!

My Little Guy

2011-08-30T10:08:00.001-06:00

I don't normally do posts dedicated to parenting or my son on this blog. (I have a whole other blog dedicated to that...) I can't help it though. He is my favorite little guy and his presence in my life is the biggest blessing I have ever received. Gabriel is the absolute light of my life (not to diminish the light and love that my husband brings into my life, because he is absolutely amazing!). A mother's love for her child is like no other thing on this planet. It is almost tangible.

I am incredibly happy to be a mother. Even more so to be a mother to a son. And even more so to be MY SON'S mother. He is such a funny, adorable, interesting person. Like most parents, I love to just sit and watch him....just to see what he will do. This only works for a small period of time before they realize that you're watching them and then they either stop acting natural, or they want to involve you in whatever they're doing.

One day, McKay and I took Gabriel to the park near our house. Gabe LOVES to be outside. We set him down and just let him wander. I decided to follow him with my phone and these are the pictures of his little boy adventure.

Gotta test out the puddles and potholes...

The boy loves him some rocks! He saw this one off the path and it stopped him dead in his tracks! Carried it around for at least a half hour....

It's a toddler rule that if you see little pieces of something colorful or shiny, you MUST investigate. In this case, they were little plastic tube pieces from a broken old-school jump rope...

And, of course, the journey ended with Dad. Gabriel is always down for some guy time.

I really just can't imagine my life without my little squirt running around acting crazy and making messes. I don't even want to.

I keep seeing this quote and I can't help but agree whole-heartedly: "Having a child is to forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

He is my heart. My joy. My life.

I love my sweet boy.

[Photos and video in this post are from April and May 2011]

GTD

2011-08-30T05:54:00.002-06:00

Hey guys--just wanted to drop a quick line about my previous post. A lot of people asked questions about Green Tea Daily, which I'm loving! Please email me any time - I'm a REAL CONSUMER of GTD and I definitely recommend it.

So anyone can order and just have it shipped. There are no extra costs for living in different states, so feel free to try it, people!

There are several different flavors and I have tried and liked them all. My favorites are Raspberry Lemonade, Strawberry Pineapple, and Creamsicle--but you don't have to take my word for it!

Again, this is not a paid ad, but I do get some sweet bonuses if you decide to try GTD and you use my link as a referral.

Click here if you want to try Green Tea Daily!

P.S. To those of you who still haven't enabled your email - please do so! I would love to be able to respond to you personally! Join the revolution! (See sidebar)

Pick-Me-Up

2011-08-23T16:24:00.000-06:00

So lately I have been working on a certain weight goal. You know what? I don't even like to call it that. It's not a weight that I'm trying to achieve - it's an overall level of health and happiness that I'm trying to achieve.

REDO

So lately I've been working on certain health and happiness goals. Things have been moving along nicely. I did set a weight goal (though I disagree that any certain weight is completely indicative of one's overall health) and came up with a list of reasons why I am not in the shape I would like to be in. I also made a list of things that make me unhappy. (Let's face it--while I have way more than my fair share of things and people that make me happy, there are some things in my life I'd like to change or eliminate...) After I made the lists, I came up with another list: What I am going to do about it.

I am responsible for my health and happiness and I will be a big girl and own up to it.

I started exercising regularly and eating healthier. FlyLady helped me wrap my head around keeping a clean, orderly house at all times. I started getting more sleep. I stopped putting energy into things and people that/who aren't worth it. Things were going really well!!

And then....

The dreaded plateau....

I didn't know what to do and, though I was still doing better than when I started this journey, I was discouraged by the lack of continuing progress. [insert epic frown here] Boooo!!

Around this time I was at the mall and I spotted one of those lovely kiosks...you know what I'm talking about. The ones with the sales people that always try to stop you and get you to try stuff. [Queue me pretending like I'm in the middle of an important phone call when I walk by so they leave me alone] This girl was giving out ice cold bottles of water with some kind of flavoring. Sweet--I was thirsty! Worst case scenario: I would snag a bottle of whatever-flavored water, tell her I'll try this stuff and get back to her.

So I walk up to the girl and she asks if I want a bottle of water. Sure! Why not?

"Great! What flavor would you like?"

"Uhh...I guess I'll try the pineapple strawberry. What is this stuff anyway?"

Turns out it was Green Tea Daily. What it IS is the equivalent of about 45 cups of regular green tea. For those who don't know much about green tea - it's packed with great anti-oxidants, gives you a natural energy boost, and if taken in large enough quantities (around 70 cups a day--yikes!) can really help with weight loss. The down sides of green tea: when brewed, it releases tannic acid, which is no bueno. Plus, I'm not a huge fan of the taste of green tea. Well la-dee-dah! This stuff tastes great! And since the green tea extract in it is not brewed, there's no tannic acid. AWESOME!

I still wasn't going to buy anything from this broad.

But WAIT! There's something in it (I forget what) that helps your body to release endorphins, which make you happy. It also helps you manage your appetite. Well dang.

Still wasn't going to buy anything.

I think this girl read my mind because she says to me "Tell you what--take this and drink it. Come back 20-30 minutes after you finish it and tell me how you feel and then we'll talk some more."

Whatever. I took it and drank it and I noticed that I wasn't tired anymore. I had lots of great energy, but I didn't feel jittery like one might feel after drink one of those "energy drinks". I felt happy. Just happy. In general. Wow. I was shocked. Dangit....that girl was right. So you know what I did? I bought a month supply (2/day, which comes out to the equivalent of 90 cups of green tea, in case you didn't want to do the math) of the stuff and it was one of the best purchases of my life!

I drink one first thing in the morning (who doesn't need a boost when they're working the 5am shift?) and another about 30 minutes before dinner. I feel FANTASTIC. I've lost more weight. I am happier throughout the day. I have more energy. I just feel better. All around. I want to exercise nowadays. Freaking awesome stuff, y'all. I highly recommend it.

If you're interested and want to find out more, click on the link in my side bar. If you want to get yourself a box or two, click here! It's $60 for a month supply. That's $2 a day. Most people spend more on soda, juice, coffee, slimfast, what-have-you and this stuff is WAY better. Trust me.

That's all. I just HAD to share with you lovely readers what has helped boost me up to such great heights these past few weeks!

P.S. I didn't get paid to write this post, but if you use the link provided above and again right here, I get a little bonus credit toward my next purchase! So if you decide to be happy and healthy with the help of Green Tea Daily with me, use my link! If/when you start, let me know you used my link and then give me yours so we can get bonuses for each other!

Crazy Cat Lady

2011-08-21T10:33:00.000-06:00

I've realized that it seems to other people that I hate my cat.

I do not.

Dorothy ("Dot") May is a sweet, lovable kitty! I'm pretty sure that she was the runt of her litter; she is full grown and still not very big. She has great big "saucer eyes" and a cute little Marilyn dot on her face. She can be sweet and cuddly and she's really great with Gabriel. I like her.

HOWEVER.....I would like her a LOT more if she didn't defecate in a receptacle that I have to keep in my house. It would also be awesome if she never ever EVER shed fur in my house ever again. I would love it if she would stay the hell out of my room. Yes--I cursed. That is how passionate I am about this subject.

I don't hate animals. But I also don't think they should be treated like humans. Dorothy is a CAT. She is our PET. If I had to choose between her and my son, the choice would be one of the easiest I have ever made. I enjoy having her around (most of the time), but she is NOT allowed in my bedroom! Other people may let animals lounge around or sleep in their bedroom, but I think that's.....well, gross. No offense to those of you who let your animal lick your face and sleep in your bed, but I think it's rather revolting.

I have to keep my bedroom door closed at all times. The cat knows she's not supposed to be in there. I don't let her lounge around in Gabe's room either. On the occasions that I do happen to leave the door open and I go in my room to find her sleeping in my pile of freshly-washed laundry, it pisses me off. I JUST WASHED THOSE CLOTHES!! I DO NOT WANT CAT HAIR ALL OVER THEM, YOU STUPID ANIMAL!!! As soon as she knows that I know she's in there, she scrams. If I'm lucky, she runs straight out of the door. Sometimes, though, she runs and hides under the bed where I can't reach her.

I have found a solution to that problem.

If she hides under the bed, I do a running dive onto it and start jumping up and down on my hands and knees like a crazy person. This, of course, scares the ever-livin' crap out of her and she runs out of the room.

I had to do this today and I just realized how entertaining it must be for anyone who catches me doing it...

Add it to your bucket list...

2011-08-16T09:59:00.006-06:00

Dearest Readers,

I must tell you about something that happened last night. There are probably far better or more important things to write about, but this topic won for now.

I have had some sore muscles in my neck and back lately, so my dear, sweet hubby insisted that I take a muscle relaxer and draw a bath to soak in for a while. This would be followed by a massage from him. Awesome. I love that man.

After we put Gabe to bed, my husband returned to me with pills in hand and ordered me away from my cleaning to take a soak.

"But...but...I have to do--"

"Nope. You need to go take a nice, long, hot bath. Take these. (muscle relaxers) Go."

So I trudged up the stairs and started drawing a bath. It was then that I decided that it needed to be a bubble bath. Had to be. But I didn't want to waste my body wash (I get the GOOD stuff, y'all!) so I went in search of that collection of small bottles of whatever-scented body wash that people buy you when they don't know what to get you. You know what I'm talking about and you have some too, don't you? I found a pleasing scent and proceeded to squirt the entire bottle into the tub under the faucet. This was going to be glorious.

Once the bathtub was full, I had a pretty impressive amount of bubbles. I was excited. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (the BUBBLE BATH, people! Come on...give me some credit). I remembered that we have a jetted tub (we are shower people, so the jets are very neglected) - sweet! I thought the jets would probably feel great on my neck and back, so I fired 'em up!

You guessed it.

I didn't think about what the jets would do to my bubble bath.

I closed my eyes and began my soak. Awesome....the smell of the strawberry body wash that I used was FANTASTIC! Then it started getting harder to breathe....what the...? I opened my eyes. Oh. My. Word. The bubbles had grown and multiplied! Gah!!

"McKay!! Come here!"

McKay came running into the bath room, slid open the tub door (our tub has those annoying glass slider doors on it...) and began laughing.

"What are you DOING?!"

"I....wanted a bubble bath..."

"Looks like you got one. How much soap did you use?? How did you do this?!"

"I used one of those bottles of useless body wash that ******** got me....and turned on the jets..."

"You used the whole bottle?!? [laughing pretty hard now] What did you think would happen when you turned on the jets?"

"I don't know! I didn't think about it!"

"Obviously...."

And then he grabbed a camera...

As you can see, it was pretty awesome. McKay decided (after getting my permission to interrupt my "pampering time") to join me.

We acted like children. He had a bubble beard that looked like a mix between Abe Lincoln's and Santa Clause's. We both created Bubble outfits and gave each other bubble hats.

I think we look awesome. Those hats could have made an appearance at the royal wedding.

So you can see now that it was a pretty epic bubble bath. We shut the tub door and turned the jets on again to see just how much we could get those bubbles to grow. Let's just say it's a good thing we have doors on our tub, or there would have been bubbles everywhere! It got to a point where we could no longer sit and be safe. We got on our knees and eventually even that became precarious. We turned off the jets and stood up to examine our creation. Bubbles to our waists. Wow. It was ridiculous.

We figured a shower would probably kill the bubbles. Not so much. Even after the shower was going for ten minutes, we were still wading around in thigh-high bubbles. Finally, we were able to fight them (thank goodness for handheld shower heads! [the kind with a hose attached]) with some colder water and patience...

Best stay-at-home date night ever.

What's YOUR best date-night-in?

I'm baaaaack!!

2011-08-09T10:11:00.004-06:00

I have been glaringly absent from the blog world. Not only have I not been posting, but I have also not been keeping up with my reading. Blargh!

I love you, peeps, but other priorities shoved blogging right out of the agenda for a while. My husband has been back for about four days now, so life is calming down and getting easier again. I was busy enough when I had him here to share the load of parenting and other household duties! When he left, it was all I could do to keep myself, my son, and my house presentable and in working order while working a full-time job. Picking hubby up this past Friday after him being gone for a month for LDAC was like Christmas Morning.

[Insert sigh of relief here]

I started FLYing the weekend that he left (I think I may have mentioned that a post or two back). I have to admit that it was a little overwhelming at first until I got my bearings and found out how/where to start. Now, I'm in a pretty good routine and I'm LOVING it! For those of you who are wondering what I'm talking about (and are, let's face it, too lazy/busy/whatever excuse to click on the link I just gave you....*wink*), here's the scoop:

FlyLady is a site that helps you get your home and your life in order. I thought I was doing pretty well, but then my friend Jeannie started telling me about how she started FLYing and how much she loved it. I decided to try it. What did I have to lose? Well it's awesome. It's free and easy to get started (if you do, though, I would suggest opting for the daily digest email option!). My husband is loving the new system and our house is always company-ready! If it weren't for FlyLady, I'm pretty sure I would have fallen to pieces, overwhelmed, while McKay was gone. I've been a pretty independent person most of my life, but once you get used to having that other person and you get into routines that involve him/her it's hard to get used to doing things by yourself again!

Bottom line: vacation came and went (lots of fun, by the way!) and McKay is back, so I should be up and blogging again in no time! Please be patient with me though--I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on and my family is still my tippy-top priority. I swear I'll be posting regularly (or binge-writing and scheduling posts...ssshhhh) quick as a hiccup.

Thanks for hangin' in there with me!

Umm...what?

2011-07-12T12:03:00.003-06:00

I haven't logged into blogger for about a week. Holy crap, people. Things are a-changin'! I'm still a little confused and disoriented. How....why....I just....want to know how to do what I used to do.

Anyway, the monthly VLOG is due today, but I'm a yutz and totally spaced recording it, so it will be here later today/tonight. For now, I'm sitting here on my lunch break at work eating a cup o' noodles with a SPOON because all the forks are gone from the break room. I hadn't planned for this. It's usually the spoons that are gone...

Y'all, I have bee busy lately. My days have been crammed full of errands and appointments and other various to-do list items up until today. I started FLYing a few days ago, and it's really helping!! So much so that ALL of my laundry is done....but it needs to be folded. So I have no plans for tonight other than to fold my little heart out.

It's weird adjusting to McKay being gone. Though I am always grateful for all of his help around the house and in the yard and with Gabriel, I never really took a full, accurate account of how much he really does. He is WONDERFUL! I realized that, while I am griping about laundry and cooking and other general housekeeping, I never have to worry about the trash. Or the litter box. Or even getting the mail. (The mailbox has not been touched since McKay left...)

I feel like I am doing well with basically being a single mom again. It is difficult to go back to when you're used to a second pair of hands though. I'm managing fine (mostly because I'm keeping myself in a sweet state of denial and I just don't think about him being gone--being super busy has really helped with that!), but Gabriel is having a hard time with it. He asks for Daddy every day. I have to be careful not to bring McKay up in conversations within earshot of Gabe because he comes running over signing "Dad" and repeating "Dah! Dah!?" Nope. Sorry buddy. McKay left his wedding ring with me (it's tungsten, so if anything happened and they couldn't remove his ring, they would need a diamond-plated blade/saw to cut it off....best to avoid that altogether) and I wear it on a chain around my neck along with my Gabriel pendant. Kiddo is always grabbing it and putting it on one of his fingers. Then he looks up at me and says "Dah? Wheh?" He misses Daddy and doesn't understand why he's gone.

I've noticed that Gabe is displaying a little bit of separation anxiety, which is really new for me. Gabriel has never had any issues in that area. I had to switch to a slightly later shift while McKay is gone so that I can take Gabe to daycare. OH. MY. GOSH. That was a huge adjustment for me. It has been both good and bad. I get to sleep in a little more (+1), but my morning routine had changed quite a bit (-1) since I have to get myself ready AND Gabriel. I haven't had to do that in a while and his routine has changed since the last time I did it. I missed seeing my cute little boy waking up. He has the cutest sleepy/waking up face! SO adorable. (+1) He got Mamma's sleeping habits and preferences, though, so waking him up is not the easiest. We usually just let him sleep until he wakes up on his own, which is around 10-12 hours a night (I know--freaking awesome. I trained him well. Babywise principles, people. They work.). Waking him up is not a good idea. He doesn't like waking up when it's not on his own accord. (-1) Anyway, I think he has separation anxiety because Daddy left and still hasn't come back, so if Mommy leaves who knows when she'll come back? Poor, sweet baby. I hate leaving him when he's crying or upset. (Luckily, he's a boy and his attention is easily diverted with cars, blocks, and balls...)

The new commute to work SUCKS. Driving to work at 4:45am vs. 6:45am is a big difference. There are more ~~idiots~~ people on the road. I liked having the freeway pretty much to myself. The more people on the freeway=more bad drivers to encounter. They are a-plenty in these parts, and Mamma has road rage!! (-1) Having a later shift means that my lunch break is actually around lunch time, which is nice (+1), but I also get out of work later (-1) and I feel like my whole day is gone. I liked getting out of work at 2pm because I could still run errands and get things done before having to get dinner started and whatnot.

All in all, though, the extra hour or so of sleep is FANTASTIC. (+94,558,315)

I think I can handle it. (as long as I don't think about my hubbin being gone for the next three and a half weeks)

Blog love, babies, the great debate, scents to avoid, and plastic surgery. Sounds like a party!

2011-07-06T08:25:00.004-06:00

It's that time again! We Want To Know Wednesday - I'm linkin' up, people, and you should too! Head over to Impulsive Addict, Mamarazzi, Janette, or Shawn's blog and link away, friends!

1-Name five of your favorite new blogs that you're reading.
Welllll......"new"...? I've been feeling kinda bogged down lately...which means I haven't been taking on many new blogs....so I'll go with "relatively new", yeah?

A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers

Lightning Bug's Butt

yours, mine & ours

Confessions from an Impulsive Addict

*Est. 5.26.07*

2-When you were a young child or teenager, did you have an idea of how many children you wanted and what their names would be? Did you follow through on your ideas?

The names have changed over the years....and so has the number. For the longest time I only wanted two kids. A boy and a girl. Now I hope to have three. I've got one so far and I'm crossing my fingers that God will bless me with a couple more over the next few years! (you nosey, nosey reader--I know what you're thinking! We aren't "trying" at the moment, but we're thinking maybe in a year we'll go for number two)

As for names....that's just funny. When I was a child, I wanted to name my boy that I was just SURE to have Bradley and my absolute GIVEN girl Keirsten.

You don't really think about the possibility of not being able to have children when you are a child dreaming up your future wedding with Prince Charming and the family that would unquestionably follow.

Needless to say, I've changed my mind on the names. (No offense to anyone with those names--my taste has just changed over the years) I really wanted to name a little girl Candace Jane (my sister's name is Candace and we would call my daughter Jane) and I could never settle on a boy name. My son has four names (went with hispanic/latin(o?) tradition and gave him two last names and one ended up having to be a second middle name and....yeah....). His first two are Gabriel [have loved that name for a while] Thomas [family name].

Anyway, I want two more. If I could design it the way I wish for it to be, I would have a girl next (whose name is absolutely concrete, but I won't tell! Don't want anyone stealing it!) and then a boy (whose name is also concrete and will not be shared....). We have a secondary girl and boy name in case we don't get a boy AND a girl (you know--if we get two more boys or two girls....and this is, of course, arrogantly assuming we'll be blessed enough to have two more children...)

3-What is the silliest thing you fight with someone about? Ummm...I'm a debater, so I "fight" with a lot of people about silly things...just for the sake of arguing. Most recently, it has been the way my husband blows his nose. I'm not kidding. The man blows his nose in the loudest, most obnoxious way possible. It drives me CRAZY. He has woken up the baby several times when blowing his nose. Gabriel actually associates that sound with "Daddy". He knows if he hears this loud, weird, annoying sound, Daddy is somewhere nearby. I could scream every time I hear it. Makes me want to throw something at him.

4-What is your favorite scent that others may not find very nice? I like the smell of a match that has just burnt out. I also like (this one's the weird/gross one) the smell of burnt-out cigarettes. Ew, I know....

5-What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? I think a lot of people go overboard with it. I think God gave you the body(parts) that you were meant to have. He also granted the agency to choose to change it. I think it's fine unless you use plastic surgery excessively to attempt to achieve perfection - IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! When I'm done having kids, I told McKay that I want a Mommy Makeover! He says I'm a trooper and I deserve it (wahoo!). I would get a tummy tuck to get rid of this extra stretched out prego belly skin and a boob job. Not the way you might think though.... I have been well-endowed in the breast area and I kind of hate it. It's too much. Without sharing my exact size for all the world to see, let me just say that Victoria's Secret doesn't sell my cup size. How do you like them ~~apples~~ melons? It sucks. So I want to get a reduction, and then pump those babies up with some implants to make them cute and perky again (because heaven knows they'll probably be sad and droopy after a few more kids....). I would like to head back down to the C cup range.....

Happy 4th, ya'll!

2011-07-04T13:31:00.001-06:00

4th of July VLOG!

Share the love! Record a VLOG and let us all know what the 4th means to you and/or tell us what your 4th of July traditions are. If you don't celebrate U.S. Independence Day, share your summer traditions!

Please let the power go out in the building so I can go home and take a really long nap.....

2011-07-01T07:30:00.002-06:00

I confess... I am usually pretty good at keeping my cool with even the most frustrating, stupid, rude customers and clients, but I have almost lost it more than once this week. Seriously. This |-| close to freaking out.

I confess... I keep seeing running motivation "posters" on Pinterest and it really bugs. Since I blew out my knee, I can't run. I have personally witnessed many of my friends catch the "runner's high" and I'm kinda jealous.

I confess... Even if I didn't have a crap knee and could run, I probably still wouldn't. I hate running. Even when I was in EXCELLENT shape, I hated running. It's probably because I don't sweat, so I overheat really easily and my face turns bright red and I start feeling really sick, rather quickly.

I confess... McKay and I started a workout routine at home (the stuff I did in high school after I injured my knee and couldn't stay in shape the way I used to - it's also the routine I used to prepare for the pageant). We both have certain weight goals (me to lose weight, him to bulk up....even more...for whatever reason...) and we took "before" pictures. When I saw my before picture, I almost cried. I really don't like myself right now. I have never been in such bad shape. I didn't know I looked this bad though. Seeing the picture motivated me even more to stick to the workout routine and keep healthy eating habits. I'm doing it. Lost five pounds so far. In less than a week!

I confess... No one will EVER see that picture. It's gross.

I confess... I am sore every day. It sucks and feels fantastic at the same time. I feel alive, healthy, and strong!

I confess... I really don't want to be at work today. My stomach doesn't feel the greatest and I'm just BEAT...this week has taken a toll on me. And we're busy all weekend. Ugh.

I confess... I just deleted this confession because it could get me into trouble.

Link 'er up people! CONFESS!

Holla to Mamarazzi!

Fear Numero Uno

2011-06-29T10:06:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling particularly bogged down today at work. Almost every client I've talked to has presented an issue that I have never dealt with before.

It feels like my first day all over again.

One call in particular made me feel especially stupid. All of the information I could find didn't help and we're super busy today, so I couldn't really ask any of my coworkers either. I had no idea what I was doing. NO idea. I'm not used to that. I felt really small and helpless and dumb.

It was a weird, gut wrenching, awful sensation. This is my JOB. I'm supposed to know how to help these people. I was completely lost, and this guy was beginning to realize that. Great.

I felt like I was suffocating in a cloud of ignorance. It was a horrible feeling.

I finally got my hands on some good info and bounced back pretty quickly. It ended well, but I was teetering on the edge there for a bit.

It reminded me of one of my biggest fears. I'm not afraid of snakes or bears or sharks or heights or dying. Though each of those things can suck sometimes, I wouldn't say I'm afraid of them.

My biggest fear: Not living up to my own expectations. <---Had to confront that one today. I hated hated HATED it. I am not fond of feeling inadequate.

Yuck.

But it's over now--thank goodness!

What is your biggest fear? Have you ever had to come face to face with it?

P.S. I felt my blood pressure/bpm rise while I was typing this. Just from thinking about/remembering how this situation made me feel. That's how much anxiety I get when I'm in a situation where I feel like I should know something and I don't. I'm still having a hard time calming myself down. I may need to take a walk. [Not kidding]

Weird/Bad/Crazy Dream

2011-06-28T11:00:00.001-06:00

I am SO excited to go see Daisy and Big Ray (I'm gonna just start calling him that because everyone thinks I'm talking about Ray instead of his dad and then I get this "Are you NUTS?!" look from them...oi) in a couple of weeks. Seriously. So stoked.

-However-

I have this irrational fear that Ray is just gonna show up out of nowhere and I won't know what to do. I'm pretty sure that won't happen. Daisy and Big Ray have already assured me that they don't want to be in the middle of Ray's "baby mamma" business - they just want to be good grandparents. So far they have done exactly that, so I have no reason to doubt them--hence the "irrational" description of this fear.

Anyway--so I had a dream last night. Whenever I have these types of dreams (and by that I mean dreams that I wake up remembering vividly and can't get them out of my head), I write them down. I don't know if you remember the last time I blogged about one of those dreams, but it was really...interesting. Turned out to be pretty indicative of my life at the time and the way it would eventually be headed. I put a lot of stock into these types of dreams and, historically, they have been rather accurate--to a scary, "I just got goosebumps" extent. So here it is.

I was on a boat with Gabe and my luggage, on my way to Daisy and Big Ray's house. [why I would need to take a boat to get to Arizona is beyond me] They took a boat also, and we met up on the water. When they got closer, my heart leaped and then sank. Ray was on the boat with them. "Surprise!!" Uhh....what?! These boats were passing (as in--not going to stop to let me switch boats) and I had to transfer myself, Gabriel, and our stuff or I'd be screwed. I HAD to get on their boat. Gabe was asleep, so I handed him to Daisy and then Big Ray helped me with the bags.

We started heading back to their house. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. Ray was there. Right there. Out of nowhere, he shows up in our lives and I don't know what to do or say. This boat was rather big and had several rooms, so we laid Gabe down to sleep and went back up to the deck. Ray acted like everything was great and he seemed pretty happy to be there. I didn't know how to respond to that. I hadn't prepared myself for this situation. They all sorta teased me a little because I was being so quiet, which is not like me.

We finally got to Daisy and Big Ray's house and it was nighttime. I took Gabriel inside and laid him down to sleep. It was so weird seeing him and Ray in such close proximity. To be able to look from one to the other and see their physical similarities made my head spin. I just didn't know how to deal with it. Daisy noticed and commented on their twin features. I smiled and said "Yeah--they look like a father and son." I shuddered.

We eventually all went to bed and woke up to Big Ray cooking us breakfast the next morning. He needed something from the grocery store and Daisy was unavailable (in the shower? I don't remember), so Ray volunteered to buy. He can't drive, though, so I got voluntold to drive him to the store. We picked up whatever it was that Big Ray needed and started heading back to the house. As I was driving, Ray pulled out this HUGE bag full of weed. Seriously--the biggest bag of marijuana I have ever seen. It was in one of those giant gallon-size freezer zip lock bags. My heart jumped out of my chest.

"Holy crap! Put that away!"

"Oh stop--it's not that big of a deal."

"Seriously, Ray. Get rid of it!"

He ignored me and pulled out a big, gold pipe. The pipe was huge! I mean ridiculously huge. Comical, almost. If we were in Wonderland, it would still look out of place. So he packed the pipe and lit up. I was so pissed! If we got pulled over, I would get in trouble too because I'm the driver! He didn't care though (as usual) and he started smoking the pipe, effectively hot boxing the car. I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating - and not the "OMG I'm breathing in smoke." suffocating - could not breathe at all. He saw me and just laughed and cracked the window. The smoke dissipated and I was finally able to breathe again. I told him to stop smoking the pipe and get rid of it. Of course, he refused and told me to chill out.

I turned on to Daisy and Big Ray's street and what's there waiting for us? A cop. Right by the corner. Looking right at us. He took one look at Ray and the pipe and the giant bag of weed and his jaw dropped. It was easy to tell that he couldn't believe what he was seeing. I knew what was coming, so I finished turning the corner and pulled over. The police officer turned on his lights and whopped his siren anyway. My stomach fell. All I could think was "Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap.....I'm done for. This is it. My life is screwed from here on out. What's going to happen to me? What about my son?! What will my family think? What a JACKASS!! Why did I let my guard down? How could I trust him?! What will they do with MY BABY!??!"

Daisy and Big Ray heard the siren and came out of the house. The cop got out of his car and approached Ray's window. He didn't even put down the pipe. He defiantly looked that cop right in the eye and said "Is there a problem officer?" My head was reeling. I was frozen. For the umpteenth time this trip, I didn't know what to do. The officer told Ray to step out of the car and another officer (more had arrived out of nowhere) confiscated the marijuana and the pipe. Ray didn't seem to be surprised or upset. He just got out, let the cop grab him, search him, and cuff him and then lead him to the back of the police car. Ray's parents were confused and upset. They yelled at him, "What the hell, Ray?! What are you THINKING!!?!?!" They looked at me for answers. I was petrified and couldn't speak. I just knew I was next. They were going to cuff me and haul me away and I wouldn't even get to see my son or say goodbye and tell him Mommy loves him.

But they didn't. They grabbed Ray and the weed and the pipe and left. Didn't touch me or say a word to me.

When I was able to move again (it took a minute for it to sink in), I looked around to see if there was an officer waiting to arrest me. I couldn't believe it. They let me go! Just like that! I ran inside and grabbed Gabe from his bed and held him and hugged him. I was so relieved.

And then I woke up.

It was such a weird dream. It has been swimming around in my head all morning. All I can get out of it is that, if a situation does arise where Ray shows up out of nowhere, I need to stand my ground and stick to my guns. I can't let my guard down with him. He's selfish and irresponsible and he will take anyone close to him down with him. I only narrowly escaped last time. I got out of that relationship while the gettin' was good. It was right before I left Texas that he started getting into heavy, hard stuff that I wanted nothing to do with. He started hanging out with the wrong sort of people. He would have drug me down with him and I may not have realized it until it was too late. I think I'm smart enough to see when I'm in a really bad situation, but who knows? Hindsight is 20/20, but when you're right in the thick of it, it can be hard to tell which way is up.

Here's to hoping this ~~dream~~ nightmare never comes true! *clink*

The F-Day

2011-06-27T09:48:00.000-06:00

So, my Fathers Day post is late. I know. I have a calendar. The past week or so (as alluded to in my previous post) has been pretty insanely busy. I decided to blog during my lunch today instead of reading like I usually do (it's taking me a lot longer to finish my current book than it normally does...)

[This post was already late when I wrote that ^. I was going to find and post some cute pictures of the people mentioned in this post, but between being sick, attending a funeral (RIP Grandma Behrman!), stretching my time between family members, and general wifely/motherly duties, I got a little distracted. Forgive me.]

To be completely honest, Fathers Day has always been very bitter-sweet for me. My dad wasn't ever really around when I was a kid. My parents divorced when I was about 7 years old. Before that, he worked constantly (he was always on a ship -sea duty- in the Navy) so we never saw him. After my parents divorce, I saw him maybe once every five years. That's a long story that I don't really care to get into right now. Just know that I always felt like my dad didn't care about us. I dreaded Fathers Day and Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dates with our church group and similar occasions.

I did have a great father figure in my life, though. My grandfather. He is amazing. So intelligent and sweet and funny. He taught me how to tie my shoes and ride a bike. He taught us how to plant a garden and identify rocks. From him, we learned to appreciate great cheese, various pickled food items, and a good Western. HE is the man that I dreaded disappointing. HE is the one I turned to when things were just too hard to deal with on my own. He gave me a place to stay when I had to move out of my apartment in college. He was with me when I bought my first car and he taught me how to deal with salesmen. I love my grandpa so much!

Fathers Day is a little weird for me nowadays. I'm an adult now and my father and I have made up; we now have a great relationship and we talk often. My grandpa is still around and I visit him whenever I can. Fatherhood means something different to me now though. I have a son whose father has never made an effort to be a part of his life. It breaks my heart that, someday, my son may ask about who his biological father is and why he has never met him and what am I supposed to tell him? That he never cared - only pretended to? I hope Fathers Day SUCKS for Ray. I hope he thinks about each of his children and I hope it hurts, because he has no one to blame but himself for not being a part of their lives. I hope it's a rough day for him. His children deserve AT LEAST that.

Last Fathers Day was harder for me than this one. This Fathers Day, my son has a Daddy - an EXCELLENT one, at that. McKay is so sweet and kind and patient and loving and fun with Gabriel (with everyone, really). There is no other scenario that I could have dreamed up that would be better than the one I'm living. My son has a great example of what it is to truly be a man. He sees a man every day that is a responsible father and caring husband. He is a good friend, brother, and son as well. I am so deliriously happy that Gabriel will grow up with an example like McKay (who is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum as you-know-who) in his life.

I used to think, "Why me?" in despair, wondering what I did to deserve being in such a crappy situation. Now, I think "Why me?!" in pure joy, wondering what I've done to deserve such an amazing husband who is the best father in the world to my son. That's right--FATHER. He has done more for Gabriel than any other man on the planet and I am eternally grateful.

Yesterday while I was bringing some laundry upstairs, I heard a guitar. "Huh..." I thought, "McKay hasn't played in a long time." He used to play all the time. I loved it. So I peeked into the office and caught a glimpse of the very reason my life is so wonderful. There were my boys sitting together with a guitar playing music just enjoying each other's company. Gabe watched in amazement as McKay's skillful fingers picked and strummed out some pretty sweet tunes (if I do say so myself). McKay held Gabriel's tiny hand and showed him how to strum. Gabe's face broke out into a huge smile and he was delighted at the fact that he could do something Daddy did. Later that day after the guitar had been placed back on the stand, I heard some noise upstairs. I went up to see what it was. It was Gabriel. Strumming the guitar as best he could just the way Daddy had showed him hours before.

I love my boys.

I love my husband.

Excuses, excuses...

2011-06-17T10:24:00.002-06:00

Hello lovelies. Sorry I haven't been posting very regularly. There's just so much going on with friends and family and extended family lately! Icky stuff and fun stuff - weddings, divorces, births, deaths, family pictures and reunions, vacation planning, moving (not me - family member), hubby's school/ROTC/Reserve stuff, daycare summer activities, church, baby blessings, ordinations, doctor appointments, concerts, plays, birthdays, holidays, WORK, etc. etc. ETC!!!!

It's just one thing after another, I swear. I'm doing my best to stay on top of things, but I'm teetering on a pretty precarious pile of appointments and obligations. Oh! OH!! I think I will take this opportunity to make this post not-so-pointless and whiny.

I have a pretty crazy busy life and it can be difficult to keep schedules coordinated. Between my work stuff, hubby's work/school/ROTC stuff, and a baby and all of the "stuff" that comes with that - our schedules can become pretty jumbled. Text messages and phone calls are lost or forgotten about and our time tends to get double-booked. I have a google calendar and I use iCal and they sync up with each other, which is great for me....but not so hot for hubby. Exporting and syncing multiple calendars that don't always update in real time got really frustrating!

.:Enter the answer to my prayers:.

Cozi. *this is where the angels sing Hallelujah!!!*

Cozi is a free online organizer that helps families manage crazy schedules, track shopping lists and to do lists, organize household chores, stay in communication and share memories--all in one place.
^Direct quote from the website. I concur.^

Mozy helps us get things done, get everyone on the same page, and have our lists when and where we need them. They have both Android and iPhone apps that give you quick and easy access to a family calendar, shopping lists, to do lists, and even a family journal to record fun moments and post pictures! (I'll admit, I don't really use the family journal that much....)

The calendar probably gets used the most in my family. My husband and I both downloaded the app, I created an account and we both signed in and BAM!--we're both using and syncing on the same calendar. It's color coded so each person's appointments are a different color and there's even a color for "all of us". You can set up reminders where cozi will email or text you to remind you about an appointment or a birthday. No more calling the spouse to see if we're free to have dinner with the Joneses on Thursday--just check the calendar! No more excuses from a certain someone saying they didn't know I would be there at this time or didn't know we had a family outing planned on the day they wanted to go to blah blah blah.

I LOVE having shopping and to do lists in one easily accessible location. If hubby is at the store and I need him to grab a few things, I can text him and tell him to check the grocery list (he forgets things....). I keep the list updated throughout the day/week when I think of something we need to grab the next time we're out. We have now made it a habit to check the list and see if there's something on it that we can get while we're at the store or out and about. The ~~honey-do~~ to-do lists have obvious similar perks.

I am LOVING Cozi.

Love.

Love!

My Cozi calendar is pretty full, which is still pretty stressful. My time is in CONSUMED status.

I have some posts in the works, though. I swear you'll see them before the end of the century. Maybe even by the end of the month! Ha.

..haha....

[This was not a paid endorsement. All of the above is simply the opinion of a raving mad lunatic woman who likes to stay organized and appear sane]

FYI

2011-06-08T18:13:00.000-06:00

Just a quick post to let you know that I combined "Gettin Crafty" and "In The Kitchen" into one page - Makin Stuff.

Also, there is a new page called The Hot List. (take a look at that one when your significant other is not around...)

That is all.

Stressed out Scorpio blogger mamma with a complicated family dynamic - who wants ice cream?!

2011-06-08T10:55:00.004-06:00

1- Everyone seems to have a quirky family situation-- what is something unique about your family dynamic?
Ohhh my.....family. Well, my husband and I were married back in 2006. We got divorced in 2008. After the divorce I was in a relationship with a guy, broke up with him, found out I was pregnant (great timing, right?) and now it has been over two years since I have seen him. I moved back to Utah and happened to fall back into a relationship with my, then, ex-husband. I moved to Hawaii and had a baby, and he went to boot camp. After about a year, I moved BACK to Utah and remarried my ex husband and things are better than ever! He is the only Daddy my son has ever known and I'm hoping it stays that way. He has never met his biological father (deadbeat), but he has a great relationship with the rest of his family! We get to see them a couple of times a year and are actually going to visit them this summer!

2- What is the most stressful aspect to blogging (aside from the network going down)?
Ummm....I don't know. I'm a procrastinator, so I have all these draft posts that I need to finish up and get published, but I'm just so ~~busy~~ lazy!! So I guess the most stressful aspect is just keeping it up in general. Of course, as a blogger, you want readers. I think we are (or at least I am) reaching out to the world to make connections and feel validated or listened to or whatever. I get hung up on my follower count, and I really shouldn't. I know there are at least a handful of people who follow privately (and to be completely honest, that bugs. Seriously.) so I guess it's not as bleak as it looks....

3- We all end up on a blog at some point in our day, but name your top 3 favorite websites you flock to daily (non blog)!
Facebook - duh
Pinterest - (it's all your fault Kara!)
Woot! - Love. Woot.

4- What’s your sign? Believe in it or not, does any part ring true to you?
Scorpio (HOLLA!!) Most of the time (though I don't really to the whole Astrology thing) the descriptions are 50-80% accurate. Part of me hates that. I don't like to be defined. And that's a scorpio trait, which is even more annoying. Stay tuned, though, because I'm working on a post that touches on this subject. It's going to be a fun one to write/read!

5- IceCream!! ICECREAM!! We all scream for icecream! Name your favorite flavor/brand! (Its hot here, can't help it)
Easy - Breyers All Natural Natural Vanilla (yes, I meant to use "natural" twice--it's the All Natural line and the flavor is Natural Vanilla). It is, by far, the BEST vanilla ice cream I have ever tasted. Better than home made. Wanna know what's in it? "Milk, Cream, Sugar, Natural Tara Gum, Natural Vanilla Flavor". Yup. That's it. And you can actually SEE the little flecks of vanilla bean in it. And yes--my favorite flavor or ice cream is vanilla. I like it simple. Plus, it's easy to dress up and add to if you want a custom-made dessert!

You don't have to feel left out! Grab the questions, answer them, and link up!

Thanks to Impulsive Addict, Janette, Mamarazzi, and Seriously Shawn for hosting!

P.S. Check out Ashley's Music Corner to see what has been stuck in my head lately!

Summer tiiiiime, and the livin's easy.....

2011-06-07T06:16:00.002-06:00

Sooo....this is the monthly VLOG for June. It's at a weird angle and I keep doing weird things with my mouth (I'm probably the only one that notices it....) I am having the same camera/sound woes from last month. For some reason, the video records but the sound doesn't work and I don't know why....so I recorded it with a camera camera instead of the iSight camera built in to my macbook. I had to prop it up because I was too lazy to hold it or go get the tripod and it was barely hanging in there because I McGuivered it and had it balancing at an angle so you wouldn't have to be staring at my breastesses the whole time, which made it a little wobbly (and it falls over at one point). But here it is....

It's not too late! You can record and post your own and link up with Mamarazzi and Shawn!

OMG--I totally forgot to link to Becca! She is the one who came up with the idea for this month's vlog! Thanks Becca!

Gettin' back TO IT

2011-06-02T22:17:00.000-06:00

I am a lazy blogger as of late. Life has been crazy busy with work and mommying/wifery and a somewhat respectable social life (okay, not really on that last one - but I have had more things in my schedule than usual lately). I have been so tired and run-down! I get home and fall asleep on the couch only to be woken up by an all-too-energetic toddler ("No, thank you, Gabriel. Mommy doesn't want to try your cracker. You eat it.") and reminded of the fact that I still have dinner to make and laundry to do. But I do love it ever-so-much! I am very blessed to be so busy.

Thank goodness for that sweet husband of mine! He has quite the schedule to keep up with as well with school (yes--ALL YEAR) and ROTC crap and drill (oh yeah--he's a cadet AND a reservist....) and on top of all that--being the best daddy and husband one could ever hope for. He helps out around the house and is always quick to jump into the imaginary world of our curious little Gabriel. And bless his heart--he is so patient with me! The laundry is not always done in a timely manner and heaven knows dinner is far from being done by 6:30 most of the time. He never hesitates to rub my feet or take Gabe to the park when mommy needs a nap.

And guess what else he did?

He got us tickets to see Broadway Across America's production of Les Miserables at Capitol Theater!

I tell you - I picked him for a darn good reason.

The show was absolutely amazing. Seriously. The sets were gorgeous and the music was just.....oh--OUTSTANDING. What excellent vocalists and actors! It was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture from my awesome hubby. I needed a break, for sure.

But it's time I got off my ~~lazy~~ ~~exhausted~~ tookus and did some blogging. I have a handful of posts in the works here, but I will be focusing my efforts on the baby blog for the next few days (I have some major catching up to do!)

I swear I'll get back on and get posting here ASAP though!

P.S. I have to give a shout out to the lovely Kara over at freckles and rouge.

She recently posted about Pinterest, and I am currently obsessed. I may be for a while. I had heard of it before, but never visited until her persistent urging piqued my interest - or should I say my PINTEREST? Eh? Eh? *elbow nudge*

Seriously though. You should check it out. I'm not even going to tell you what it's all about. Just go read the About page.

Kara was right.

It's like crack.

After you go check it out and realize how awesome it is and then request an invite (that's right--this isn't like MySpace, people. You have to request an invitation.) you can click on the button in my sidebar to follow me and my crazy pinboards.

TV, Tattoos, Jewelry, and Road Rage

2011-05-11T11:55:00.003-06:00

It's that time again and I couldn't help but join in--I love the questions for We Want To Know Wednesday this week. N-joy...

What game show have you always thought you could be on and totally WIN!?
There are two - the Newlywed Show (McKay and I were GREAT newlyweds--we knew everything about each other!) and Family Feud. I know that there have been others that I have sat at home and thought "Oh my gosh!! I would be a freaking millionaire right now!!"....if only...

Do you have a tattoo(s)? What are they and what made you chose them? If not, would you get one, yes/no/why?
I don't have any tattoos. I went through a phase where I seriously thought about it though. I went back and forth for months trying to decided if I really wanted to get one and what I would get. I thought about getting a long-stemmed rose on my right side (ribs to hip). I also thought about getting "INVICTUS" tattooed on my left side (Invictus is latin for "Unconquerable". William Ernest Henley wrote a poem which he titled "Invictus" that I have loved since 8th grade). I finally decided at one point that I was definitely going to get a tattoo. It was going to be a tattoo of a Lily in honor of my grandmother who passed away in 2007. We were really close and Lilies were her favorite. I was going to get it done on a weekend and I found out earlier that week that I was pregnant....and I have never had the desire to get a tattoo since.

What is your favorite piece of jewelry that you own?
I love my wedding ring and, obviously, it is a very special piece of jewelry. But that's a pretty obvious answer. Aside from my wedding ring, my very favorite piece of jewelry is a necklace that my sweet husband got for me for Christmas last year from Arjento. (Can I just say that I LOOOOOVE Arjento? Yes. I freaking love Arjento. They have beautiful jewelry for affordable prices and the best part? They engrave for free!! I got my wedding jewelry from them and I still love it. It will be passed down to my daughter if I have one.) It's a silver silhouette of a little boy with my son's name engraved on it on one side and his birthdate engraved on the other side. Here is what it looks like:

I really really really love it - you can tell that I wear it a LOT! The smooth finish is looking a little worn...lol They have little girl silhouettes too. I want to get one for each of my kids (if/when I have more). I would say you should check out their website, but it's not working right now for some reason, but I linked to their FB page above!

What are your driving pet peeves?
I will tell you right now. I have major road rage. I cannot STAND bad drivers!! I ACED my driver ed class and I think that is why I have a pretty low tolerance for bad driving. Slow people in the fast lane, illegal lefthand turns, texting while driving, people who try to let other people turn on a busy road which causes a big traffic jam and all kinds of confusion. IF YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROL OF ALL THE TRAFFIC ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ROAD, DON'T TRY TO BE THE NICE PERSON--JUST GO BEFORE YOU CAUSE AN ACCIDENT!! I follow the rule my driver ed teacher gave me back in High School: "The best way to NOT get into an accident is to not try to be courteous. Just get to where you're going and follow the rules." Anyone who has ridden in a car with me can attest to the fact that I am pretty vocal when I encounter bad driving and I am not afraid to use the horn!!

What was your favorite sitcom growing up that you wish was still on?
That one is easy--my favorite was Full House!! I loved it! Not sure if I wish it was still on though... Another show that I loved that I wish was still on is Friends.

Want to participate in WWTKW too? Head on over and link up!!

Big thanks to Impulsive Addict, Janette, Mamarazzi, and Shawn for this fun little link up!

She's The Best

2011-05-08T11:37:00.001-06:00

As Mothers Day arrives, I always think about what motherhood means to me. I haven't always gotten along with my mom. I have to admit that there were some teen years that were less than pleasant. Now that I am a mother, I wish I could go back and counsel myself and maybe even do a little scolding. My mother was not perfect. The house wasn't always clean and there weren't fresh cookies in the cookie jar every week or dinners made from scratch on the table every night. I am so grateful for who and what my mother is though. What is she? you ask? She's AWESOME.

My mom raised three children mostly by herself. I will never know and could never measure how much she sacrificed for my brother and sister and me. She worked multiple jobs at times to keep bills paid and food on the table. She never missed a concert or a game or a competition or a play. My mom was always very supportive of us and tried to encourage us to follow our dreams and develop our talents. She was also a spiritual shepherd for our family. She taught us to love and serve the Lord and to do the same with those around us. Mom comforted us when we were sad or hurt, taught us about the birds and the bees, showed me how to braid my hair, sang and danced with us in the living room.... She is the person who helped most to build me into the person that I am today. I can never thank her enough for all that she has given me.

Mom supporting me on Graduation day!

I know it wasn't easy for my mom. She worked herself to exhaustion most days and still managed to take time out for things like scrapbooking and helping us make our own Halloween costumes (that's right--we had home made, one of a kind costumes every year and they were the BEST!). She didn't get to pursue a lot of her own interests because she was always helping us pursue ours. A lot of you who know my mom may not know this, but she is an amazing artist! Don't ask her about it, because she will deny that she is as good as I say she is. Just trust me.

Mom and I at Chinaman's Hat (right after I moved to Hawaii)

I can't imagine doing what my mom had to do. Being a single mother for a year was hard enough on me, and I only have one baby. She did it for much longer than a year and with THREE babies. Holy crap!! And she had three by the time she was 22!! She's a trooper. A lot of the time, she had to be Mom AND Dad. She got to do all the fun stuff, but she also had to do the hard stuff as well. Now that I am a Mother, I more fully understand the ups and downs of parenthood. The good is overwhelmingly fantastic. The bad....can be heartbreaking. I hate having to discipline my son. It is so upsetting when he doesn't behave because I have to correct him and I can't stand that sad little face that he get when he knows I'm not happy with him. My mom had that X3. Ouch. :'(

Mom with my son the day of his blessing.

I am incredibly grateful for my mother. For all that she did for us when I was growing up, and for being an excellent example to me. It is because of her guidance that I am the mother that I am today. I have continued most of the traditions she engraved in our lives with my son. I only hope that some day my children will be able to appreciate how much they are loved, as I now understand the love my mother has for us. She is my best friend and one of my biggest blessings. I know that my mom is mine for a very special purpose and I thank the Lord for sending me to her. I don't mean to make all the rest of you upset, but I truly have the best mother in the world (she is also an AMAZING grandmother!). She may not always be perfect, but I know that's what she is working toward and every day she gets a little closer.

Mom, if you are reading this, know that I love and appreciate you more than words can say. Happy Mother's Day!!

Isn't she pretty?!

MAKE IT STOP!!! (I need a vacation...)

2011-05-04T18:01:00.001-06:00

Okay so I am suuuuuper pissed off and annoyed right now. I was trying to record my dumb vlog and I didn't even want to do it today. I look like crap and I don't have the patience to make myself look presentable. But I HAD to get it done because it's already late. It's late because I have had family in town and life has been busy and frustrating, but mostly just busy. So I FINALLY go to do my vlog TODAY (yes, the day after it was supposed to be posted, which means it should have already been completed before today). The first take was way too long. I rambled. The second take I kept losing my train of thought because my son was crying. There were several other small messed up takes after that. I finally got one that was relatively short and not great, but acceptable. I went to watch it really quick before posting it and there was no sound. None. I checked my volume and tested the other clips. The other clips worked. Grrr! So I decided to record another one. A couple of takes later, I got one that I liked even better than the one I was going to upload before. So I went to listen to it. Again--no sound. *Insert Frustrated Scream Here*

Screw it. Whatever. I just won't do it then. I figured I would try doing the show and tell part of the video. I went through that process ONCE and it worked. Fine. I'll take it.

Enter hubby.

"Hey, I need you to take a look at the computer. I can't scan this document and I don't know why it's not letting me."

*Side Note* I somehow became my family and extended family's personal tech support. I get phone calls about every tiny little thing and, while I'm happy to help, it can sometimes drive me crazy. I am somewhat technologically inclined. I know some stuff. But that doesn't mean that I want to replace the help menu or free telephone tech support!!

So I go upstairs and start an almost hour long struggle with our stupid printer. This thing is pretty much BRAND NEW. We got it only a month or two ago. It is a wireless printer/scanner/copier/etc. and for some reason, the printer and the scanner will start thinking that they're not on the same network. But they are. They ALWAYS are. It is SUCH A PAIN!!! So anyway, I fixed it of course and then hubby is nowhere to be found. I try to call him.

*head-->brick wall*

My phone sometimes pulls this crap where it decides to restart when I try to make a phone call. Why? I don't know. I guess I need to take it in and maybe exchange it. Again.

So here I am. Annoyed and pissed off and frustrated. Here is my video. It's only the show and tell portion of the vlog because the other part hates me. Whatever.

Shout out to Mamarazzi and Shawn for the Vlog of the Month and also to Beth for the show and tell suggestion!

Disney Teaches Me A Good Lesson

2011-04-29T18:34:00.027-06:00

Earlier today, I put in a movie for my son to watch. (Mulan--I love that movie!) My husband grabbed the remote control and started fast-forwarding through the beginning where Shan-Yu and his army are scaling the wall and start their invasion of China.

Stop! What are you doing? Push play and leave it alone!

I'm just skipping the scary stuff. Gabe doesn't want to see this part--he wants to see the cool, fun stuff like Mulan and Mushu, not the bad stuff.

How do you know what he wants to see? He needs to watch the whole thing! The bad stuff is the reason why the good stuff happens.

I wasn't meaning to be deep or profound, but the statement that tumbled out of my mouth made me stop and think. How true it was.

The bad stuff is the reason why the good stuff happens.

Anyone can take a look at their life and pinpoint the very worst and very best parts. How often do we connect the dots to see where one thing led to another? After some reflection, I can see that the worst, most hearbreaking and negative periods in my life were followed (eventually) by some of the best ones.

My most recent ultimate low was the "Ray situation". For those who may not know, this is it in a nutshell: I moved to Florida and met and began dating a guy named Ray. I fell fast and hard. Probably because I was feeling vulnerable and in need of love/attention after a particularly rough end to a serious relationship. We moved to Texas and continued our relationship. Things started getting rocky and, eventually, it turned into the worst relationship I had ever been in. I was being treated so poorly that I could no longer respect myself if I stayed with him, so I ended it. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. He begged me to stay with him so we could be a family. Something in me knew that that would be the worst decision I ever made if I did. So I stuck to my guns (and it's a good thing, too--he took a turn for the worst not too long after). I knew I couldn't stay in Texas and have a baby on my own, so I decided to move back to Utah where the majority of my family lives as well as many of my friends. By the end of my first trimester, Ray stopped communicating with me. This was very difficult for me. I didn't want to be in a relationship with him, but I did want my child to have a father. The whole thing was one of the lowest (if not THE lowest) points in my life that I can think of. I was angry and confused and lonely and completely heartbroken.

My life now has taken a complete 180. And I owe it all to the worst crap I've ever been through. The biggest, most obvious amazingly great thing that came from it is my son. He is the best thing ever. But there are other things also. If it weren't for Ray treating me so horribly, I never would have broken up with him--and that most definitely needed to happen or I may have walked down a pretty bad road with him. If I hadn't gotten pregnant (which seemed pretty horrible at first--I know, I know, but it wasn't the best situation), I never would have left Texas and come back to Utah. If I didn't come back to Utah, I never would have had the opportunity to sit down and talk to my former husband, which led to us starting to date again and eventually get remarried. Now things are better than ever. I couldn't ask for a better husband and son. They make me so happy!

Another MAJOR point: good things happen out of the need to defeat the bad. And when that happens, we get the good twofold--once because something positive occurred or was created in order to overcome the negative, and another because the negative was overcome and is no more.

My challenge to you, reader, is to connect the dots. Count your blessings and truly understand how and why they came about. Always remember that it can't rain forever and that rain leads to beautiful things. It seems that worse situations lead to even better ones in the long run. It was hard for me to see how any good could come from my situation, but it isn't very often that you can predict how beautiful the sunrise will be when you're smack dab in the middle of the night. There must be opposition in all things. The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you. And, finally, from Grandma Fa:

Grandmother Fa: Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should've brought home a man.
Shang: Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here?
[Grandmother and Mother dumbly point to the garden]
Shang: Thank you.
Grandmother Fa: Whoo! Sign me up for the next war.

I'll take those challenges and trials! Show me what you've got! Sign me up for the next war! (I mostly want the reward at the end....okay, so I just want the reward....)

Who Wants To Know?

2011-04-27T16:36:00.002-06:00

I saw Shawn's We Want To Know post today and I couldn't resist....

1.} What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Are you an eyes or a smile person? Maybe another body part?
I like to take people in as a whole. So it's really a whole package thing for me. I guess if I had to narrow it down whether I would take a second look at a person or not, it would be these: Hair--there are certain hair colors that I just don't dig. Skin--this can actually tell you a lot about people (cleanliness and overall health are two major things). Eyes--for obvious reasons. Teeth--Oral hygiene is a big deal to me and I just can't do icky teeth. Two other important things that are not visible--smell and voice. Big deal, people.

2.} If a movie was being made about you who would you like to see cast to play you? And would your movie be a comedy, drama, romantic-comedy, action film or a horror movie?
Is there a female version of Robert Downey Jr.? If so, I think her personality and sense of humor would be perfect for playing me in a movie. If not, I think I would like Jennifer Garner or Sandra Bullock to play me. They're great. I have been told (not that I believe or agree with it) that I look a little bit like Angelina Jolie (ha!). Others have said that I look like Amanda Seyfried. And similarly mistaken people say I look like a mix between Lindsay Lohan and Christina Ricci (how can that be good?). So if we're going by who my doppelganger would be, I have no answer for you. (My husband has stuck to his guns with "Amanda Seyfried slash Angelina Jolie" and his mother agrees....lame) It would definitely be a comedy with some drama and action thrown in there....and some romance.

3.} Does your senior yearbook include a senior comment section? If so share what you said about your future goals. Have you met those goals? If you do not have a yearbook just share an old picture and let us know what your goals where when you were 18 and if you have met them. If you're brave enough, include your senior picture!
My senior yearbook...oh boy....it was a lot of things. I didn't like the choices the yearbook staff made or the way they put it together. I think there was a senior comment section, but not many people knew about it. So there are just a few entries....which is stupid. When I was 18 I didn't know what I wanted, and I was mature enough to realize and accept that. I wanted to go to college, but I couldn't make up my mind on what to study. I knew the world was a big place with a lot of opportunities. I wanted to find myself before I made major decisions about my future. I didn't care at what age I got married, but I knew I didn't want to have kids until I was at least 25 years old. Well guess what? I have an 18 month old and I'll be 25 this fall. As for my senior picture...well there's another huge FAIL on the yearbook staff's part. I went and had them taken and the yearbook staff automatically gets a copy of every picture. For some reason I'm "not pictured" in my senior yearbook. It was a bitter-sweet moment to see that on yearbook day. I hated the picture because they decided they wanted to unify the senior section by draping the girls and suiting the boys. The picture was hideous (it really wasn't that bad, but I hated it) so I was kind of okay with it not being in the yearbook. On the other hand, it was my SENIOR YEARBOOK. I had never been "not pictured". I was pissed. The yb staff gave me a refund since they lost my picture and failed to request a copy of it. I have several pictures of me from senior year (including super cute acting head shots!), but to be fair I'll post the next best thing to a yearbook picture and show y'all my senior ID card picture!! [OMG I just found the "proof" of the yearbook drape picture. I'll show you both pictures since I went through the trouble of digging them up...]

ID card pic

ugly yearbook drape proof (flyaways much? how about some hair product, Ashley?)

4.} What latest trend simply baffles you?
I just talked to Impulsive Addict about this--I have a serious issue with the "Amazeballs" epidemic. I do not understand it. I don't know where it spawned from or why or how. Even more baffling? Why the hell is it spreading like wildfire? Really, people? REALLY?? (No offense, Impulsive--you're hilarious and I'm not judging you because you use such a weird word--I say "retarculous" so....yeah)

5.} When you walk into a room how do you present yourself? Do you walk in with confidence and command the attention of others or do you slink in and do your best to go unnoticed?
Depends on the room and the occasion. I don't think I ever intentionally command attention (though that was sort of beat into me all my life because I performed and acted a lot--you HAVE to command attention...) anymore. I may have possibly done that when I was younger, but I don't do that now because that would be annoying. I'm not shy either though. I don't slink in. I never slink. Unless I'm trying to be sneaky. So confidence--yes, commanding attention--not so much, and slinking--definitely not.

This was a fun WWTK! Thanks, of course, to Shawn, Impulsive Addict, Janette, and Mamarazzi!!

We Need To Talk...

2011-04-26T06:58:00.000-06:00

Communication is huge with me. HUGE. Nothing bothers me more than someone who refuses to communicate. Especially if that person is older than ten. Many a past relationship (be it boyfriend or bff) has ended with me because of lack of communication. And usually that "lack" is a refusal on their part. Not mine. I like to talk it out. I'm also a debator, but I pick my battles well. The relationship that I had with my son's father ended horribly for a lot of reasons, but the biggest was that he just wouldn't talk to me and it didn't have to be that way. Whatever problems we had just festered and grew until they were unbearable. I hated it. I can't live that way.

I have a pretty strict policy of open and honest communication at all times. I don't beat around the bush. I loathe passive-aggressiveness. If I have a problem with someone, I tell them while doing my best to be as tactful and respectful as possible. As an adult--a grown woman--I expect the same from those around me. Sometimes that kind of communication is difficult. It can make a person feel attacked and/or vulnerable. I get that. Open communication isn't always easy.

So now you know why I had a bit of an issue with someone I tried to resolve an issue with yesterday. I had a problem and I went to them with it and s/he just tried to make me feel stupid for even bringing it up. !@#$% WRONG-O!! DO NOT make me feel like I can't communicate with you if you wish to continue any kind of relationship with me (romantic, professional, friendship, what-have-you). So this person has now severed a critical line of communication. Good job, peach.

The 3 Basic Rules For Carrying On A Relationship With Ashley:
1-Be honest. (no lying, cheating, stealing, etc.)
2-Be respectful.
3-Communicate like a mature adult (unless you'r not an adult--but then you'll be treated like a child)

Simple rules, I think. Pretty basic.

Spillin' It

2011-04-22T10:12:00.005-06:00

I confess...

When my sister told me that she JUST sent out Easter stuff for Lily (her daughter, who is being cared for by our mother while she's deployed, who are both -along with my stepdad- are here visiting for Easter) on MONDAY--from JAPAN--I was annoyed. Hello! You're in Japan, you goose! She also sent Easter stuff for Gabe and fun Japanese stuff for the rest of us. But it could take up to ten days to get to my house. And she wants us to wait to celebrate Easter until her stuff gets here. I am thinking "Uh--no. Not fair to the kids!" but then she reminded me that they're so young that they won't care or know the difference anyway. Fine. But we're still dying eggs and doing the Easter egg hunt ON EASTER and I don't care if you sent an awesome egg-dying kit--we're NOT WAITING!!

I confess...

I hate my cat. I mean--I love her. She's totally adorable and super chill and great with Gabriel and easy-going. But I hate seeing cat hair everywhere. No matter how much we brush her or how much we clean, those suckers show up in every nook and cranny and it's driving me insane!! Plus, I hate smelling the litter box--and we have done everything to remedy that too. We got a covered box with a scented filter and put it in the corner of a mostly unused room, surrounded by plugins. No dice. I want to give her away. NOT KIDDING

I confess...

I am SO not a morning person. Pretty much everyone knows this about me. I hate waking up. It's my least favorite thing to do every day. I have a snooze button problem. I downloaded an alarm clock app on my phone that makes you solve a math problem before it will let you snooze or dismiss the alarm....and I still get at least 3-5 snoozes in before finally rolling out of bed. It's sad.

I confess...

I have gained all of the weight back that I lost last fall. I am so disappointed in myself.

I confess...

Part of me feels like linking up to some of my favorite bloggers is the equivlent of bloggity "selling out". Am I? I guess I really don't believe that--or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself. It is nice to have a writing prompt to keep myself in what I deem to be an "active blogger" status. I don't want every post to be a link-up though, and I know a lot of bloggers who do that. I just want to assure my readers (and lurkers--I know you're out there, you "private" followers!!) that I will do my best to make the majority of my posts my own original writing/thought process. I promise.

So....this IS a link up....couldn't help it....you can link up too!

P.S. I confess...

I had to go back and edit and re-publish this post four times to correct spelling and grammatical errors... I am right there with you, Mamarazzi!!

P.P.S. I confess...

I just had to do it a fifth time to fix that ^ P.S. ...I am on the verge of a breakdown. TGIF!!!

A new venture? and Why I think "fame" is stupid...

2011-04-14T16:10:00.000-06:00

Okay, so after that vlog post earlier this week, I am SERIOUSLY thinking about making it a regular thing. I will probably just let it stay in my youtube channel though....with the occasional post on the blog. I will most likely link up with Mamarazzi and Shawn for the vlog of the month.

I need to stress that I am thinking about doing it. Possibly. Having a full-time job+a one-year-old+a house to take care of and bellies to feed/cook for+a couple of blogs (this one and this one)+my photography (which has been depressingly lacking lately) makes me a busy woman. Add a vlog to that and you get: TAPPED OUT. Because if I do it, I'm pretty sure I'll want to do my best to do it right...which means there will be editing involved. Probably only in iMovie, but still--I'll have to put some effort into it.

So that brings me to this:

Is it worth it?

I don't know. I'm still debating. I've rolled some ideas around in my head. We'll have to see. I think it could be really fun. PLUS my childhood dream of being "discovered" may come true! Maybe some director somewhere will stumble across my ramblings and think, "By jove, I've FOUND HER!!" and then I'll get ta be in a movin' pikcha! That's pretty far-fetched and it will most likely never happen. But if I DO decide to do the vlog thing at least I'll have the consolation of knowing that I put myself out there, right? I have actually been contacted by some independent film directors/producers in the past, but they were out of state and I didn't have the means to travel.

This reminds me of a ~~mini-tangent~~ thought I've been wanting to share. I really really really think that being a celebrity would suck. Major. Junk. Never having any privacy? Can't just bum it for a day? No thank you! If I have a bad day or get into a tiff with someone, I don't want to be in a magazine or all over the internet and tv because of it. You can't have an off-day when you're a "celebrity". Ew. And then you have all of these people telling you how to look and how to dress and who to be. Everyone is watching. All the time.

And that's another thing!! The whole idea of "celebrity" is just stupid to me. They are treated like American royalty. And for what? BEING THE COURT JESTERS. That's right. I said it. That's really all they are. Why are we glorifying and paying millions of dollars to the people that simply entertain us? That's all they do. That's their job. Sing for the people! Act for the people! Dance for the people! So what are they? Royalty or the court jesters?

I don't understand the glorification of these people. Sure, a lot of them are talented. But so are thousands of others. These people just happened to know someone who knows someone who happens to have an 'in'. They eat and shower and poop just like the rest of us. So what makes them so special? They simply have a job that pays them way too much. Get over it. I have personally seen many a "celebrity" and all I did was think "Huh...that was Charlize Theron....that couch is FUGLY." (I saw her in a furniture store in Park City) or something similar. I don't freak out. I don't ask for autographs or pictures. (Okay that's a lie--I saw Morgan Spurlock once and asked him if he would stop for a picture--but I love his work. His documentaries are actually pretty interesting.) I DO, however, thank military personnel and ask to shake the hands of veterans. I admire firefighters and police officers who don't abuse their authority. I am in awe of people like neurosurgeons and the doctor who did my C-section (that guy deserves the medical equivalent of an academy award--seriously!) and others who save lives.

In closing, I would like to say that I think we, as a people, are absolutely ridiculous when it comes to celebrities and who we make famous and put on a pedestal. I would also like to reach out to you guys and ask: What do you think of the vlog idea? Should I do it?

Ashley does the VLOG thing...

2011-04-12T17:19:00.002-06:00

My first (and perhaps only?) attempt at Vlogging. I must forewarn you--this gives you an insight into how utterly "not-cool" I am....if you didn't know that already.

Fun Fact:

I had to record this twice because the first run through, it wasn't actually recording. And then the second one turned out even more dorky than the first....but I don't care enough to re-record it.

Thanks for the fun assignment Mamarazzi and Shawn!!

Mrs. Rogers' Neighborhood

Life is a roller coaster

Blackout

What Are SOPA and PIPA And Why All The Fuss?

About a bot

Let's focus

Need a new camera?

Here's to you, 2011 *clink*

Postponed

More Than Figurines

Derailed

Ask A Deployed Soldier

Crazy November

Best Friend Of The Program

I Like It Like That

Looking...looking...FOUND IT!

Ask A [Two Time] Cancer Survivor

The day a box of stuff changed my attitude

ASK A....

Giveaway Winner

Reach Out

I am the Kiss Monster

For Good And For Awesome

My first swap {Swapoween} and the anticipation is killing me

10 Things I Would Do If I Didn't Have To Work

Violated

Get your clicking fingers ready--it's giveaway time!

Entrepreneurial Endeavors....(I can use big words!)

Changes

Road Block

That Day...

Fitocracy

Back on the WWTK wagon

My Little Guy

GTD

Pick-Me-Up

Crazy Cat Lady

Add it to your bucket list...

I'm baaaaack!!

Umm...what?

Blog love, babies, the great debate, scents to avoid, and plastic surgery. Sounds like a party!

Happy 4th, ya'll!

Please let the power go out in the building so I can go home and take a really long nap.....

Fear Numero Uno

Weird/Bad/Crazy Dream

The F-Day

Excuses, excuses...

FYI

Stressed out Scorpio blogger mamma with a complicated family dynamic - who wants ice cream?!

Summer tiiiiime, and the livin's easy.....

Gettin' back TO IT

TV, Tattoos, Jewelry, and Road Rage

She's The Best

MAKE IT STOP!!! (I need a vacation...)

Disney Teaches Me A Good Lesson

Who Wants To Know?

We Need To Talk...

Spillin' It

A new venture? and Why I think "fame" is stupid...

Ashley does the VLOG thing...

Here's to you, 2011 clink