Friday, April 29, 2011

Disney Teaches Me A Good Lesson

Earlier today, I put in a movie for my son to watch. (Mulan--I love that movie!) My husband grabbed the remote control and started fast-forwarding through the beginning where Shan-Yu and his army are scaling the wall and start their invasion of China.

Stop! What are you doing? Push play and leave it alone!

I'm just skipping the scary stuff. Gabe doesn't want to see this part--he wants to see the cool, fun stuff like Mulan and Mushu, not the bad stuff.

How do you know what he wants to see? He needs to watch the whole thing! The bad stuff is the reason why the good stuff happens. 

I wasn't meaning to be deep or profound, but the statement that tumbled out of my mouth made me stop and think. How true it was.

The bad stuff is the reason why the good stuff happens.

Anyone can take a look at their life and pinpoint the very worst and very best parts. How often do we connect the dots to see where one thing led to another? After some reflection, I can see that the worst, most hearbreaking and negative periods in my life were followed (eventually) by some of the best ones.

My most recent ultimate low was the "Ray situation". For those who may not know, this is it in a nutshell: I moved to Florida and met and began dating a guy named Ray. I fell fast and hard. Probably because I was feeling vulnerable and in need of love/attention after a particularly rough end to a serious relationship. We moved to Texas and continued our relationship. Things started getting rocky and, eventually, it turned into the worst relationship I had ever been in. I was being treated so poorly that I could no longer respect myself if I stayed with him, so I ended it. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. He begged me to stay with him so we could be a family. Something in me knew that that would be the worst decision I ever made if I did. So I stuck to my guns (and it's a good thing, too--he took a turn for the worst not too long after). I knew I couldn't stay in Texas and have a baby on my own, so I decided to move back to Utah where the majority of my family lives as well as many of my friends. By the end of my first trimester, Ray stopped communicating with me. This was very difficult for me. I didn't want to be in a relationship with him, but I did want my child to have a father. The whole thing was one of the lowest (if not THE lowest) points in my life that I can think of. I was angry and confused and lonely and completely heartbroken.

My life now has taken a complete 180. And I owe it all to the worst crap I've ever been through. The biggest, most obvious amazingly great thing that came from it is my son. He is the best thing ever. But there are other things also. If it weren't for Ray treating me so horribly, I never would have broken up with him--and that most definitely needed to happen or I may have walked down a pretty bad road with him. If I hadn't gotten pregnant (which seemed pretty horrible at first--I know, I know, but it wasn't the best situation), I never would have left Texas and come back to Utah. If I didn't come back to Utah, I never would have had the opportunity to sit down and talk to my former husband, which led to us starting to date again and eventually get remarried. Now things are better than ever. I couldn't ask for a better husband and son. They make me so happy! 

Another MAJOR point: good things happen out of the need to defeat the bad. And when that happens, we get the good twofold--once because something positive occurred or was created in order to overcome the negative, and another because the negative was overcome and is no more.

My challenge to you, reader, is to connect the dots. Count your blessings and truly understand how and why they came about. Always remember that it can't rain forever and that rain leads to beautiful things. It seems that worse situations lead to even better ones in the long run. It was hard for me to see how any good could come from my situation, but it isn't very often that you can predict how beautiful the sunrise will be when you're smack dab in the middle of the night. There must be opposition in all things. The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you. And, finally, from Grandma Fa:

Grandmother Fa: Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should've brought home a man.  
Shang: Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here?
Grandmother and Mother dumbly point to the garden

Shang: Thank you. 
Grandmother Fa: Whoo! Sign me up for the next war. 

I'll take those challenges and trials! Show me what you've got! Sign me up for the next war! (I mostly want the reward at the end....okay, so I just want the reward....)

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