Friday, September 11, 2009

It is NOT my fault that you chose to hire a bunch of brain dead RETARDS to run your office. Fix this. Now.

I'm so pissed I can barely see straight.

That's right. It is ON.

Remember how I told you about the stupid girls in the office at my apartment complex? Well, you should--it's all in my last post.

So last night, I walk in my front door and my roommate's friend hands me this paper and says "Oh yeah--I think this is for you." It was folded and taped, but it had my name on it. I took it from her and walked back to my room as I opened it.

And then read it.

Oh HELL no!!!

I'm gonna tear some faces of. The police are going to come to the scene and be like, "Who ARE these people?" and then someone else will say, "Dude, I don't know. Their faces are gone. They might be the people who work in the office along with the entire management of this place....but I could be faces, ya know?"

I know--I'm a creepy, morbid, crazy person. Whatev...

At the top of this paper, it says (in bold, CAPITALIZED, UNDERLINED LETTERS) "THREE-DAY NOTICE TO PAY OR VACATE".  WHAT?!?!?!

When you find me in a mental institution down the road over this ridiculous issue and I'm eating crackers and playing checkers with myself at a table in the corner, that's what you'll hear me repeating to myself over and over...."Three days to pay or vacate. Three days to pay or vacate. Three days to pay or vacate...." And when they drag me away kicking and screaming because of a random outburst, it will be because I screamed bloody freakin' murder, "BUT I ALREADY PAID!!!!!!"

Uh huh. It's a sad, sad future for me. And it's all their fault.

Remember that $60 (two utility payments of $30 each via money order) that they "have no record of"? Well I HAVE RECORD OF THEM. I have the two money order stubs that say when I bought them and how much they were for. I called MoneyGram and they told me that they had both already been cashed. One on August 11th, and the other on September 1st. Imagine that.

So this "legal document"--oh yeah. That's what it says. "THIS IS A LEGAL DOCUMENT. PLEASE READ AND COMPLY WITH ITS TERMS."--says that I owe them $60 (which isn't much, but I already paid it and I refuse to pay it again!!!) PLUS $75 in "late fees accruing through September 10, 2009", for a total $135. Bull. SH**.

I'm sitting here trying to count HOW MANY TIMES I have gone into that damn office to resolve this issue!! And every time I get the same thing: some idiotic girl who doesn't know how to do her EASY AS HELL job telling me "Sorry. We don't have record of those payments. Are you SURE you paid them?" YES! I AM MOTHER EFFING SURE I PAID THEM!! I have even showed them the receipts/stubs from the money orders, re-explained the whole thing to them a dozen times, and assured them that the money orders have been cashed. And all I get is dumb, blank stares. They have -no- idea what the hell they're doing in that office. None.

So now they want me to pay them AGAIN (plus a late fee--$5 dollars PER DAY) or I am expected to vacate the premises by the 13th. Part of me wants to just be like, "Fine. I freaking vacate." but then they'll keep my deposit and this will be on my record and possibly ding my credit--like my credit could even handle that at this point--so I WILL NOT roll over and let them do this to me. They've got hell to pay, and I'm freaking collecting. Today. I am going into that office and I'm gonna kill some people pitch a sh*tfit. That's right. I'm going to demand that I speak to Lynn (the lady above all the heads that are gonna ROLL) and then I'm going to tell HER that she has ONE HOUR to resolve the matter before I call the cops and tell them that my money has been stolen. And then I'm going to talk to an attorney.

I already filed an official complaint with the Better Business Bureau. Oh yeah. I went there.

I hate these people. HATE.

And yes--I do know that I will probably go to hell for horrible, inconsiderate, politically incorrect title of this post, because I'm pretty sure it's actually true. 


  1. I'm pretty sure you are supposed to eat the checkers and play crackers!

    But in all seriousness, that is absolutely ridiculous! Springville pulled the same crap with my power bill and actually turned it off! I was fuming mad and am still fighting with them about it. Give 'em hell, Ash!

  2. UGH.. Be strong! You can do it!