Saturday, February 28, 2009

So many stresses, so little motivation to sort them out...


Cigarette smoke. For the first time in a while, I've been getting out of the house for extended amounts of time. When I come home now, I can smell the nasty cigarette smoke from my dad smoking in the house. Ugh. Gross....


I was making an easy meal--yummy sandwich and ramen noodles. The small sauce pan that's the perfect size for one package of ramen was dirty, so I washed it. I threw in the ramen and let it cook while I made a sandwich. got around to eating the ramen and it...just didn't taste right. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was weird. Yucky. Then I finally pinpointed the taste--Soap. Eew. I guess I didn't rinse the pan out well enough. I've never done that before. And I'll NEVER do it again. It was so disappointing. Plus it was my last packet of ramen. *sad face* ....I just couldn't finish it. It was horrible.


Katy, TX. I almost never go to Katy. But since I work there now, I see it quite a bit of it. Katy's not bad though! I kinda like it!


At first, it was TV. All I did all day was watch TV. I know--I'm ashamed of my lack of ambition sometimes. Now all I hear is the sound of me talking or singing to myself while I unpack boxes and stock shelves--occasionally interrupted by a customer or a dropping pallet. It's not so bad. It gives me a lot of time to think about life and goals and such.


I am feeling...sore. Ugh. My arms are sore. My legs are sore. My butt is sore. And it's all because of the constant lifting and/or stacking of boxes. Sometimes they stack those pallets 7'-8' high!! And lil' ol' me is supposed to downstock that crap?! Maybe after a few days my arms and legs will be used to it. I mean, I guess it's good exercise, but I can think of a few other areas of my body that I would much rather work out.


So much has been on my mind this week. I'm moving back to Utah--AWESOME!! I'm so excited for my educational and career opportunities!! I'm excited to be able to see friends and other family members that I haven't seen in a while! I'm excited to see Jason again! But all this excitement comes mixed with feelings of anxiety and stress. Where am I going to live? Where am I going to work? What if Wal-Mart won't let me transfer? How am I even going to FIND a place to live/work from another state? Then I think, "Well I can find a place to live and a place to work after I get there." But how long will that take? And where am I going to live until then? And how will I survive with little to no money until I get a job? So that all boils down to me having to save quite a bit of money. The longer I stay and work before I go, the more money I will have saved up. But then I will have to wait longer to see friends/family/Jason. Plus I owe my dad some money, so I want to get him paid off before I leave. I also kind of have a deadline to get there. Both Amanda and Aubrey are getting married. I want to be there for at least ONE of the weddings!! Amanda's is May 1st, so hers is a little more impractical. I'll probably be going to Aubrey's if I can only make it to one because hers is in June sometime. So June? Ugh. I don't know. It's hard to be excited when the feeling is drowned out by stress. And it's not like I have friends clamoring to help me find a place to live/work. Maybe it's because I haven't really voiced the issue. I probably should. The only one who has shown any interest in finding a place and being roommates is Nicole. But she's in school right now at SUU. I don't know when the semester ends, but when it does she'll be graduated. She says she wants to live at home for a few months to save up money and stuff, though. Plus, I want to live closer to SLC and all of my friends from high school seem to be congregating in the Provo/Orem area. I don't know what I'll do. I'll figure it out though!!

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