Thursday, September 8, 2005

I want to scream. And die.

Can I please do both? No? Fine--I'l just vent on this for a bit, eh?

I'm in one of those moods where everything annoys you. I get frustrated with almost everything right now. I don't know what it is, either. I'm in a really crappy mood, and even THAT pisses me off. I feel bad, too, because I don't want to be a bummer, you know? I hate it when there is a really pissy person hangin around bringing down the mood, and right now I AM THAT PERSON. I don't want to be around Jason or anyone that I enjoy right now, because I don't want them to be associated with the negativity that I'm feeling. I don't want to remember this pissed offness and have people that I like in that memory. Is that stupid? Does it even make sense?

I want to punch MYSELF in the face. And Sydney. Just kidding. She's probably a great girl--I don't know her very well. I just met her the other day. But there's something about her that annoys the hell outta me and I can't pinpoint it. From the very start, she gave off this vibe like she thinks that she's better than me or above me for some reason. Maybe it's because she's known my newfound friends for longer than I have and feels like I shouldn't be as "in" as I am (as gay as that sounds). I started hanging out with Jason and Dallan and Bob not too long ago, but we're all already pretty good friends. I don't know if she's threatened by that or if she just really hates me. Maybe because she's not the only girl around anymore. I don't know, but I wish she would just knock it off. She likes Jason. Hahahahaha. I know she does. Jason doesn't realize it. Maybe.....I think he knows, but he is unaware of the level of like going on here. Am I threatened? No--I don't think so, at least. I don't really think I have conciously done anything to piss her off, but that's the way she treats me as of late. It kinda pisses me off. Just a little.....whatever. She doesn't even look at me when she talks to me. Not that I really care, because she would probably try to steal my soul with her lazer eyes or something. Okay, that was really second grade, but I don't care at this point. Every thing I say either seems like she thinks I'm stupid or......really stupid. She has to argue with me about EVERYTHING. Why, Sydney, WHY?!?!?!?! You don't have to be right--or better. That doesn't make the world your bitch! She kinda reminds me of Kara....in a lot of ways...grrr... Whatever. I don't even know if I really care about that at this point. With everything else that's going on right now, she is the very LEAST of my worries. She can bite me for the time being and I'll get to her when I have some free time for a bitch party.

Urgh.....I hate myself

Someone shoot me, please....just put me out of my misery......

*Imported from my first blog on mindsay.com*

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