Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I slipped into the seventh layer of Hell....

Okay--everyone told me that if I went to live with my best friend, we would turn into enemies. I didn't believe them. I still don't - mine and Kara's relationship has stayed the same. Good friends, but she's always been slightly competitive with me. I don't really care. HOWEVER--I DO hate her mother, Karol. She has finally succeeded in officially making my life a living hell. Thank you SO much Karol. I really, really, REALLY hate her. I don't care if I have to burn for eternity for saying that either. I HATE HER. Now you want the story, right? Fine. I have time.

Okay. SO--I got a job right? Yay for me. That's supposed to be a good thing, isn't it? I thought so too. I'm in two shows right now, I have a job, and school. Whoop-dee-doo. I can handle it. One of the shows is my freaking fourth period class. The other show--our competition piece, in which I have the lead-only rehearses twice a week until state competition, which is in a couple weeks. So I'm not really stretched for time. Rehearsals only go till about five or six, and for work....well, I pretty much pick my hours. I decide what days I want to go in, and how long I'm there. So even with all of this, I have time for homework. Apparently Karol thinks otherwise. I get home from work one day and she goes "Where have you been all day?"  -Work- "Oh, so you have a job then?" -Yes- "Well, that's great. But now you're involved in too many things. I think you need to drop something and that's going to have to be the shows." -I'm fine, Karol. I can handle it.- "Well, I don't think you can." -Well I can. Don't worry about me- "You have to drop SOMETHING, and that's going to be the shows. That's my decision, and it's final." Okay, what? First of all--Karol is NOT my mother. And even if she was, she has no control over what I do. I'm 18 and I pay her RENT and money for food and utilities. So technically, I don't have to give a royal crap what she says or thinks. So I was like -That's your decision, eh? That's great (I don't care what you think)-  And walked away. She says that I have a "grade problem". That's bull crap. I have two F's, but that's because those teachers start you out with an F and you gradually work up to an A. EVERYONE in those two classes has an F. There's no possible way for me to even have an A in those classes. So where's the "grade problem"?  Oh riiiight-there isn't one. But Karol is freakin psycho.

I can't stand living there anymore. Everything is all about Kara in the Clark home. She can do no wrong. If' I'm not absolutely PERFECT, like her, then I get chewed out. I'm tired of being compared to Kara. I'm sick of all of their bull crap. Kara gets everything handed to her on a silver platter. For instance--just last weekend I went car shopping becuase my dad's buying a car for me. (Candace gets to drive the two nice cars that my parents in ST Louis have instead of the piece that they made me drive, and TJ has been GIVEN two cars and he has either wrecked them, or lost them out of stupidity, so daddy's getting me a car cuz I always get shafted--kinda' happens to the middle child... ) Anyway, I found the car I want and Kara's all jealous. We were walking home from school and she says to me "I don't know--I don't think that you should get a new car. I kinda' feel like it's something that you should have to work hard for and earn, you know?" EXCUSE ME??!!! Let ME remind YOU who works and who doesn't. YOU have a car--given to you--you don't have to pay for gas OR insurance, but I will. I HAVE a job. I got to school, I do extra curricular crap and everything and I STILL work, unlike you, and I DON'T DESERVE IT?  Screw you, Kara. SCREW YOU. I have EARNED this. From having to play mom all of my life because my parents were divorced and my mom had to work two or three jobs to support us. From having to STILL play mom throughout all four of her marriages because she decided not to. From getting shafted my ENTIRE life. From having to work from the time that I was fifteen so that I could pay for my school stuff and my brother's and sister's stuff as well as pay for my mom's gas because she didn't feel like working. Yeah--ME. I earned this. and then she was all "Well, still, you haven't been going to class lately. I don't think that mom should let you have it until you start making it to class every day." Okay, first of all, your mom has no say whatsoever in what happens to that car. MY mom doesn't even have any say--my dad does. And second, don't worry about me and my classes--I've only missed class because of compeitions, or from being sick. Kara gets everything she wants. I hate it. It freaking sucks. So don't tell ME who hasn't earned it. YOU don't work and your parents pay for EVERYTHING for you. Shut up and butt out. So all of this has been going on and I can't take it anymore. My grandparents live about five or ten minutes away. I asked them if I could go live with them and they were both like "Sure. If you want to." So I'm moving out. I haven't mentioned this to Karol yet, but I am. Screw the Clarks.

So anyway, if all of this wasn't bad enough, I woke up to this note taped to the bathroom mirror from Karol. This is word for word, except for the stuff in parenthesis:

ASHLEY--
Your counselor called me at work...he says you know what work you need to make up (very true. I have never said anything to the contrary), and he personally walked you to get 1 of your packets (also true--that one will be finshed Friday. what's your point? )
I spoke with Miss Curley...she is aware of your grade problem (again, what grade problem?) and understands you are no longer in the plays. (Okay psycho woman--you have gone TOO FAR. I officially hate you. ) So please don't take out your frustrations on her. (What the hell? What makes you think I'm going to take out my frustrations on her? YOU are getting my freakin frustrations, woman. You're in for it. I hate you. )
                                  -Mom- (do NOT call yourself my mother. you are nothing of the sort, and I would appreciate it if you would stop acting like it. I hate you.)
P.S.
I did speak to your mom and dad about this and they agreed the plays had to go, because your grades are a priority in order for you to graduate.
                                        TICK TICK TICK
And then she drew a gay little picture of a clock with two hands--one pointing to "March" and the other to "May 24" (graduation)

I HATE HER. Thanks, alot for taking away everything I had going for me. I really really REALLY hate her. I hate everything about her. I hate that we breathe the same air. Her very existance pisses me off. I understand that this is a very negative post, but if you don't like it, you can screw off. I have enough people trying to tell me what I should be doing and how I should be living my life. I dont' need anymore people to tell me what I am and am not capable of. Screw everything. If she even tries to talk to me. I'm going to pretend that she doesn't exist. I learned that if something is screwing up your life and causing a lot of grief and trouble for you, that thing is a problem and you need to eliminate it. So I have. I hate her and she no longer exists as far as I'm concerned. She can go to hell, for all I care.




*Imported from my first blog on mindsay.com*

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