Sunday, July 4, 2004

Blah, blah, blah----Are you my therapist?

Well, my parents and *cough, cough* LOVELY stepsiblings are gone for a few days, leaving our giant freak of a house all on its own with only my little sister, Candace, and me to keep it company. Darn. What ever shall we do with all of this empty living space and ten acres of yard? I don't know, but I'll soon find some way to cure my boredom. Anyway, on to stuff that people actually care about.

Okay, so I was talking to Mark the other day online and all of the sudden out of the blue he starts asking me what I would do if I ever cheated on him. (Like if I would tell him or not) Just totally out of nowhere. I was like "What brought that up?" and he said that it was just some crazy thought and that he had some insane dream about it. So here he is talking about me cheating on him and asking my questions about it. I told him that I would never ever do that to him (because that's what my dad did to my mom and I know how much it can screw up peoples' lives), but if it ever did happen I would totally tell him the truth about everything. I would tell him because I care enough about him to let him know the truth. So he keeps going on and on about this cheating thing. It hurt my feelings that he would even bring that up. I told him that I was hurt that he didn't trust me enough to not have to wonder about me cheating on him. He apologized and assured me that he did trust me and he said that all of this craziness was just going through his head because he was in Cape Cod without me and that he missed me and he watches all this crap on tv that makes him think/wonder about stupid stuff like that. I don't know. I was just so....insulted that he would even bring that up.

Oh! I day or so before all of that happened, Mark and I were talkin' on the phone and he said that he had been out shopping and that he bought me something. Okay there are a few things you need to know about Mark and spending money. First, HE NEVER SPENDS MONEY. I know, I know, that makes him sound cheap, but he's not. Instead of the like the dinner and a movie thing, it's a picnic and an art museum or some cute little park with a pond or something. He's just sweet and creative. I don't really care, anyway. As long as I'm hanging out with him or whatever, I'm happy. And second, if he ever DOES buy me anything (which is rare unless it's a holiday)he is so anxious that he either tells me what it is or gives it to me before he's supposed to. He's like a five-year-old when it comes to stuff like that. So anyway, he's on the phone and he says, "Oh yeah! I went out shopping and I bought you something because I was thinkin' about ya. It's really cool. You're going to love it. I'd better get at least a hug and a kiss for this one..." But he didn't tell me what it was like he usually does. So I thought "Maybe he forgot to tell me..." so I asked him what it was and he wouldn't tell me! (I know, I know, you're sarcastically thinking "Gee, what a jerk...") He wouldn't even give me clues! This is very unlike him, my friends. So I asked him when he was going to give it to me and he said that I don't get it until he comes back home in August because he has to give it to me in person "and besides, (he) want(s) to see the look on (my) face". Pssshhhh. I feel like the snotty girl on the Willy Wonka movie ("I want it NOW!"------> BAD EGG, down the chute...). So yeah, he's really got me going with this one, guys.

Another thing: I wrote to my dad. That's headline news, right there. When I say I wrote to him, I mean I REALLY wrote to him. This was no short letter, people. I let it all out. I told him that I forgive him for all of the crap he's pulled and that I love him despite his ultimate suckiness as a dad. And let me tell you, my friends, it felt so good. There are a lot of times that I don't think I should forgive him. But I did. God said forgive all men. He also said Honor they Father and thy Mother that thy days shall be long upon the land or something. So I forgave him. La-de-da.

One last thing! I have been relentlessly searching for a job for quite a while now. On Saturday I finally got some results. Sort of. I have two job interviews. And another place that's so desperate that they painted on their window "Looking for a fun, exciting job? Apply inside!" I did. Anyway, wish me luck!

*Imported from my first blog on*

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